Say hello to my latest epiphany. This is a Teena Marie CD found in a pile of trash, but the story behind it is quite the emotional treasure.
When you move out of a place you make sure to leave things clean, and when you move away from a relationship you do your best to make sure you leave things “clean” for the sake of walking away with some peace. As we get older we become more aware that our actions do in fact impact others, and some of us truly start to care about that.
But not for the man who left me. When I walked back into our apartment after giving him the time and space to move his things out it was a total mess. Anything he didn’t want was left in the apartment, and the message was loud and clear. I was left this trash to pick up because he was in a hurry, and he knew I would clean up after him.
Suddenly the trash floated off the floor and came to life. It was no longer just TV trays left flattened out in random places, the empty boxes, or the dust pile left half swept. It was the broom next to it leaning against the wall like a skinny teenage boy with an aloof look saying, “You’re gonna go ahead and sweep this up right?” I could communicate with this mess.
Because the mess was also me.
A good girlfriend, and $5 bottle of champagne later I was finding myself pretty okay with the mess. I was more upset about the reason behind it, but looking back I am pretty sure that this experience was one of the turning points with how my feelings changed towards my broken relationship, and how I began to change the way I felt about myself. I was going to get over this, and it was going to be a beautiful thing when I did.
The next day as I was cleaning up I found the Teena Marie album. I decided to put it in my car and play it sometime. For a while I would play the only two songs I liked on the album. Until about a week ago when I was the one moving out of said apartment and decided to listen to the whole thing.
What a find. We all love to sing in the car don’t we?
You KNOW you love it!
I have popped that album in almost every other day since the move-why? Because it is AWESOME. It is by far one of the best albums I have ever heard in a while, and it is beautiful. I sound so000 great with Teena, and our duets are filled with complete 80’s emotion. She is my latest treasure.
His trash from the mess became my treasure. That goes for how he treated me as well. Maybe he didn’t mean to treat me like trash but he did leave a big mess, and I put that right back on him because everything else in my life shows I am valuable. More importantly I realize as the months take me farther away from that memory; from that yucky feeling of having someone I thought valued me show that they don’t…
I am starting to value myself more.
That’s what matters right?
Sign us off Teena: