Classic breakup formula: Find someone else+Get under them=get over the relationship
That is what “they” say right?
After hearing this advice and deciding for a number of reasons why this would not work for me…
I came up with a new formula:
Find loved ones+Stick around them=get over relationship
What I like about this formula is it can be used with any type of relationship. Why just limit ourselves to focusing on romantic break-ups when throughout our lives we experience a variety of them?
The best part is you can still make new friends, reconnect, even date, but now that you have taken out the expectation to find someone or something to meet your need to heal it takes all that pressure off.
It can become something light, fun, and distracting; in a good way.
You might be thinking this formula is nothing new-we all look to our friends and family for comfort when we are going through a challenging time, but the difference is when it involves hurt within a relationship we usually look for comfort combined with the classic suggested formula. We anxiously search for something to cover up feeling so openly wounded when what we should be doing is sharing the experience with people who we trust to listen. That helps with the process of healing, and closing up that wound. It also reinforces your support system which helps you take smaller more relaxed risks.
So next time you experience a break-up of a relationship try this “new” formula and ditch the anxious search. You will be pleased with how much more open you become, and that openness will naturally generate new opportunities with relationships for you.
It certainly has for me.