“Maggie: Pity Party of One” was an emotional event I was trying get out of!
The party theme? “When is it MY turn?” Comparing myself to other people who lead lives where everything is happening in a seemingly “perfect” order. The big job, that trip to another country when you find yourself, the spouse, and the babies. The invite kept popping up these past few weeks even though I had taken action with my RSVP of “HELL NO.” I was too busy doing positive things to make this event. Trying to connect with more like-minded people, making forward strides with the new coaching business, and even doing a 21-day meditation series with Oprah and Deepak Chopra.
Oprah AND Deepak? Shoulda been some kind of magic happening over here.
But even Oprah couldn’t save me from this feeling, and Deepak is always talking about growth. Even with my life at a current standstill, overall when I didn’t have a bug up to block my forward thinking it was and still is changing me everyday in really small but profound ways. I had to face it. So I changed my RSVP to “YES.”
When I showed up I allowed myself to become immersed in the party theme. I accepted the thoughts that were there, and in doing so left with a few valuable party favors:
1. Hey…hey there Mag. *You* make your goals and dreams come true. You.
2. There is no perfect order, just the general expectations of society, and as a woman in my 30s those expectations are starting to trickle into my personal life. That is normal and only means something if I make it mean something.
3. It is essential to have like-minded people in my life. Yes, challenging and unlike minds teach us, but if you find yourself surrounded by mostly these types you run the risk of fizzling out your own positive life force. That’s a self-care job.
4. Choices. Because if I were to have the opportunity to get married right now I would not. I created a goal to become a life coach and less than a year later did. My imperfect order is leading to some of the best choices I have made to date.
So what am I whining for?
I like my perfect, perfectly imperfect. Uncertain, a little daring, and full of possibilities. I know I’ll still get those feelings sometimes but don’t we all. It’s okay, just keep moving.