<— Can you relate to this? Can I even venture a guess that after a few seconds you might have a person (or people!) in mind? It’s okay-I won’t tell.
They’re the people that really drain you after a conversation. You might leave feeling like you’ve developed a slight headache, or need to lie face down on your bed and purge the multitude of thoughts now planted in your mind.
In the HSP community we call these people “vampires” because they literally suck the energy and brain power out of us. Unfortunately when you are a highly sensitive person you also attract these type of people. They’re the type of people that interrupt when you are *clearly* not done sharing, the ones who visually become uncomfortable when there is a lull in conversation, and who have to be right because being wrong means pausing from that constant internal dialogue supporting this belief.
They are also the people who never stop talking.
Unfortunately you might not always be able to shake these vampires every time you encounter one. Sometimes they are stuck in your life one way or another. It’s important to get rid of the ones you can, and to set boundaries with the ones you can’t. Fill your immediate circle with people who can enjoy the quiet with you sometimes, who listen to you, and gracefully cheer you on.
You need people like this in your life. One of my best friends has four kids, 0r 101 as she likes to put it. You should see her when there is some calm in the house, and she has just a few moments to play on her iPad or read a magazine in the sun. It is times like this it does not matter if have something to share because I see the silence is appreciated in a way I can’t relate to, and these cliffhanger minutes before someone needs something should be respected. Plus our mutual appreciation for quiet moments makes for a pleasurable non-speaking hangout. We don’t have to fill the space with constant conversation in order to feel connected to our friendship.
With that said are you comfortable sitting in silence with others, or furthermore, with yourself?
Can you sit on the couch with the TV off and read a magazine, or work on your computer? Can you turn off the music in the car for one ride and just be with your thoughts? Pause on the phone with someone without feeling weird, or sit with a friend and not say a word? It’s a great place to get to, and although you might not always arrive there on every occasion the more you practice being comfortable in silence the easier it becomes to be comfortable with silence.
Practice sitting with the quiet, and I bet you’ll hear more than you ever thought you would. Who knows, you might even end up enjoying it.