That negative self-talk!
This ties in a bit with my gratitude post as it requires mental efforts and pattern interruptions. It is not just a one-time point in your life that all things fall into a positive place in your head…it is consistent, and constant work. Worth it? Yes. Better than taking the easy road of victimizing yourself, limiting yourself, and putting yourself down? Yes. Do better and more positive things happen to you when you flip the switch? Hell yes!
30 Somethings: Flip the Switch
1. Negative self-talk can be pretty powerful. Taper it down by using positive phrases or mantras to practice quieting it down. For example mine is “I am worth the work.” This is for those times my mind tells me I am a failure.
2. Think it’s silly to use mantras? Well, “I am fat,” or “I can’t ___” ARE mantras. Flip those into words that will actually serve you in a positive way!
3. Instead of “I wish” say “I can” or “I have.”
4. If someone you love isn’t showing you they feel the same don’t blame them. Don’t equate your self-worth to how they treat you. Flip the switch from “Why is so and so ___” to “What choices can I make within this relationship that will best serve my emotional health?”
5. Along with #4 take responsibility for habits and patterns that keep creating the same negative results. If 5 people you dated have all treated you the same crappy way honey, it’s not them-it’s you. Flip that switch again back onto yourself because it is always healthy to break patterns that are causing you pain, or confusion.
7. Stop thinking everyone is watching you, cares what you are doing or is judging you. They aren’t, the don’t care, and they are not judging you. The only time anyone does any of these things is usually because YOU bring it up! Stop it. Flip the switch and YOU watch YOU. YOU care about YOU, and YOU…gently reflect on your life choices.
8. If there is something you want instead of thinking why you don’t have it flip it to how can you get it!
9. Flip “I wish _________” to “I will ________”
10. If you can’t or won’t change it, please stop complaining about it. For loved ones, and anyone else having to hear it. Please just flip that switch to OFF. Thanks.
12. If you think it, is it real? Yikes…think about all those crazy off the wall thoughts you have every day. Nope. You have every right to say to yourself “I will not invest in this thought,” or “It’s just a thought.” Let it go.
13. Under anger usually lies hurt. So, if something is pissing you off-go underneath it to move forward.
14. Compete with yourself. Flip to your own goals, efforts, wins, and strides.
16. Instead of criticizing what you don’t like about your body how about you accept what is, and start changing what you can? Flip the switch on to what you appreciate and can change to make yourself into the healthier more outwardly confident you, you deserve and want to be.
17. “I am having a bad day.” Are you? Or did you have a couple of unexpected moments and now you are focused on every little thing that could possibly bug you today? Unexpected isn’t usually ideal, but it happens all the time.
18. With that said-does a bad day mean a bad life? “Today sucks.” Okay, if it does then fine-move forward into “How can tomorrow be different?”
19. Flip your “I can’t” to “How can I?”
20. “I failed.” Did you? Or did you try and it did not work out? “I tried, it did not work out, and that’s okay.”
21. Instead of criticizing someone to make yourself feel better how about flipping that switch and stopping yourself from putting out that negative juju, or finding something about them to compliment?
23. “I don’t have the time.” I have a friend who raised her son solo, worked full-time, went to college full-time, and was still able to hang with me. Revisit that phrase and flip it to “What are my top priorities to make time for?” If you ask yourself this on a daily basis the answers will change, and that is where you will find the time.
24. “I can’t”-excuse my french, is often bullshit. It usually means “I won’t.” Think about all those times you shut down when bumps come along the way. You throw your hands up and declare “I can’t!” Can you really not, or do you not want to put in the effort so you can?
From followers via Facebook and Twitter:
26. “I’m 70% muscle instead of 30% fat.” ~Quisha
27. “I catch myself in the moment of negative thought or vibe. Force a smile. And say “no! I have”… and confirm with something good about myself or the situation. I sometimes fail. But I TRY. Not trying is failing.” ~Ana
28. “Sometimes I have 2 tell myself to STOP IT! I use a firm voice lol&even say it outloud. I might look a little nuts but it works! lol.” ~Twitter
29. “My favorite quote is ‘To dream of the woman you wish you were is a waste of the woman you are.’ Thats how I flip it. When I start thinking of what I lack, or jealous of those around me, I try to think of those things I am great at.” ~Marni
30. Go back to #28-Just stop doing it. Just stop. Sometimes, on some occasions, it is that easy, and furthermore, that simple. Flip the switch.
Turn on the light.