The Water Relationship

I am writing this on a whim…my Black Fridays entail steering clear of any place that advertises this happening.

I just came across a YouTube video from a man named Ralph Smart. He was quite entertaining to watch, and dives pretty deep while keeping the spirit lifted.

It’s a pleasant combination.

 As a single person I found this empowering, and also thought, what a great check-in for those in relationships, who like myself, are always trying to dig just a little bit deeper…

Stay Single

Stay Single until You find Someone:

  • You love to eat with-I have never really think about this, but food, meals, the way I cook and explore…it would be only fitting to be with someone who carries at least some of my interests in this area!
  • Who helps you evolve, and wants you to.
  • Who loves your heart as much as your backside-looks change, we are more than our beautiful bodies, and you want to be with someone who is just as attracted, if not more, to your heart.
  • That enjoys your silence as much as your words….no awkwardness in the quiet. I was actually thinking I would like to be with someone who also appreciates it.
  • That motivates you just by thinking about them.
  • Who is ready to be vulnerable with you! For those of us who date men-listen up. A sensitive man who shows you his heart on all sides is showing you he trusts you. Appreciate that. In the world we live in right now.

We need these men to more boldly step forward.

I don’t spend much time looking around for advice about being single because it all tends to be the same, and in my 30s it’s unfortunate that for the most part, advice is based off of trying to help me reach some end point of ultimate happiness. I very much appreciated this video, and just had to share.

To the ones who are happily single-you can continue to be truly happy and still desire to connect with someone! And, to the ones who are not-from personal experience, you won’t be able to genuinely connect with someone, until you can truly be happy.

love

Maggie xo

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Sunday

2nd_pose1Yoga. Not the studio going lululemon-wearing perfect breathing with pretzel poses yoga…It was messy, I cried, and cursed at Yoga with Adriene.

But I felt so good afterward.

Sweaty Gratitude.

Backyard time. Sun. Cards. Wind. Heat. Something majorly poking my butt when I shifted my sitting position to meditate. Hair in my face and bugs.

Fulfilled.

Dinner with a friend. Bloody mary. Heavy food. Chats of romance and making friends. Beautiful baby painting with ranch dressing on the table. Disappearing waiter. We say thank you at the same time.

Heartfelt Fun.

Bookstore. Intriguing card deck discovered. Dusty smells. Long sunset drive home.

Love.

Home.

Night. Bed. The L Word binge. Comfort. Lots of texts.

This One,

“You don’t know how important you are to me.”

Grateful.

Maggie xo

When plans Change, so should You

Hi! I am delighted to share this impromptu video I made tonight after both an amazing workout, and overall, AMAZING Monday!

Lucky me, huh?

 “Sometimes it ends up different, and it is better that way.”

Maggie xo

Heated Kisses and Jalapeños

Holy Shit it’s been a Long Time.

My apologies.

I wanted to share a dream I had.

About this guy

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Just give ya a sec to soak it in

Yes friends, I had a dream relationship with Khal Drogo. He bought me a sweet red leather jacket, and ice cream. He picked me up from my dorm every day to see how I was doing.  At night we would sit barefoot on the grass under the stars, and talk for “hours.” He adored me. I woke up pretty amused! And of course, kind of bummed, but grateful for our day in the sun. Or should I say moon.

Another feeling I experienced when I woke up though, was a twinge of discomfort. I had forgotten what it felt like to hold someone’s affection this way, and to have someone be completely enamored with me. I can only describe it as discomfort because it has been quite a few years in my reality that I have experienced this type of attention from someone. It felt nice in the dream, albeit it only that. You all know how real they can feel.

It is in my nature to be affectionate, loving, and expressive to those who already do, or begin to take up space in my heart. I am aware this is not common of most to outwardly express it with such ease, even if they feel it. Rather than search for reciprocity I consider it my gift, and part of the way I help light up this crazy world. I am guessing the discomfort stemmed from the loss of recognizing how good it fucking feels to be shown love in this way. Excuse the french, but come on…doesn’t it feel fucking fantastic??

Anyway, I shared this dream on Facebook with some of my friends, and as usual, I have my one greatest cheerleader, who is always there to remind me, that I deserve what I dream. Another slight moment of familiar discomfort returns with her comment, but then I override it with what my true nature knows. YES. You are right my friend. You are right.

Although I might have to tweek the dream a tad, seeing that I am not in college anymore, and Jason Momoa might not have the time to see me every day. What with his travels and all…

~

The truth of the matter Is

I am not longing for a relationship. I am hungry for a connection. I am not waiting for “Mr. Right.” I am continuously working on myself to always feel right. But not for anyone else. Just me. I figure, if I am going to treat someone awesome, I need to feel awesome.

And as I’ve shifted my perceptions on what singleness means to me, I experience a different opportunity. Because I do not have the day to day romantic connection with anyone at this time, I open myself to what it feels like to heartily fall in love in other ways. When I first moved to Texas I met a girl in a meetup group who I instantly connected with. I 20160131_152928fell in love with her spirit and beauty within weeks of getting to know her! She lights up my life. I am in love with the first savory bite of a really spicy jalapeño popper. I am in love with my California friends more than ever because I am often reminded they are irreplaceable. I am in love with my bedroom window, and the way the sun hits it later in the afternoon.

I fall completely in love with my Nephew and Niece every single time they call me “Curly Titi.”

Would it be nice to meet a cute guy who could talk books and pull me in for heated kisses while we’re taking a walk? Hell to the Yes. I rest in the knowing this is my future somewhere. So there is no need to wait for something that has already arrived. It’s just not my time, or I guess, it’s just not ours.

So to my 30+ single friends…You’ve asked, and I am answering…

Don’t Wait. Just Be.

Maggie xo

P.s. Disclaimer…I do believe those in romantic partnerships still fall in love in other ways, but my perspective can only represent my current situation =)

Of Course I like you. You’re an Asshole

I pulled up the text messages with clearly mundane, disinterested replies. I gave a huge throaty sigh, And as if a mother or great friend were scolding I heard myself say:

“Maggie of course you like him, he’s an asshole.”

~

So I am doing the Internet/Smartphone uhh…”dating” thing. 

Actually don’t really like it, and don’t believe I’m going to meet “the one” this way, but figure I could use the practice, and some of the experiences I’ve had have been these wonderfully weird stories to share. Which IS one of the fun things about dating in my 30s compared to my 20s.

 In a good way, I care less.

20s: Does HE like ME?

30s: Do I like HIM?

20s: He hasn’t called even though I texted him hello, what did I do? Maybe I should text one more time. I’ll add a cute unnaturally-posed selfie so he’ll be reminded of how pretty I am.

30s: Wait, that guy I saw last week hasn’t called. Oh well.

Where’s the beer I ordered?20140908_205413
Ya’ll wanna go home soon
I can’t wait to take off my bra.

BUT

(There’s always a but)…

I have noticed one habit I still haven’t completely shaken off that really needs to get squashed once and for all. And I am glad this has come to my attention NOW…while I…practice…”dating”…

I still go for assholes.

Oh yea, I used to date assholes. Chase assholes. Fall in love with them.

Spent the last year or so addressing this pattern, but hadn’t really dated to put into practice what I’d learned. Then recently I started to notice who I was paying more attention to.

The guys that didn’t have any descriptions on their profiles. The guys that looked like my asshole exes. The guys that didn’t want to actually meet me they just wanted to text a lot. Red flags. Everywhere.

And then I thought about the few exes I couldn’t say were jerks. I met them through friends. They were weird like me. They were dorky in some way like me. They were kind.

Touche my friend.

Touche.

Time to completely swipe left.

Maggie xo

Heart Swells and Butterflies

I heart Love.

My ability to simply sit with the feeling without having any particular person or situation in mind is something I’ve only recently really sank into.

Yet I still love that teenage heart leap when someone you find extra interesting catches your attention. I wouldn’t really call  myself a hopeless romantic… but rather a hopeful sapiosexual.

Meaty conversation, certainty in the uncertain, and a genuine interest in the world around us is what gets my heart pumping.

However, now I mean this with any type of relationship.

Romance, friendships, and work life…whomever, and wherever.

What it really ended up coming down to is the understanding that my energy in this life is precious. I don’t write this with any sense of exclusivity, but more so with a deeper sense of how this operates in my daily life. We experience the mundane and “normal” enough in our day to day. I understand every moment of my existence will not be filled with the type of love-feeling I am describing here,

But…

I also understand that between the larger solid rocks, in that metaphorical jar of what goes in on my life, and with who…the tiny grains of sand fillers are what make it exactly that…fulfilling. So as I move forward making adjustments to my own energy, that includes adjusting interactions that align more with who I am.

(Refer back to the sapiosexual comment)

Because I heart to love,

I will never settle for less than the heart swells and butterflies.

and darling,

Neither should you.

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Maggie xo

Wedding Wishes

I’d like to dedicate this blog post to my very special friend Christina.

Christina is the type of friend that had I not known her I am one hundred percent certain I would not be the person I am today.

How many of us are so lucky?

Christina is marrying the one. I am thrilled for them both as these days it is not as common to witness a couple getting married for simply the following reason:

Love.

love

So with this awesomeness are some wishes that have been sitting with me,

that I would like to share with you.

~wedding wishes~

I wish you both the kind of marriage that continues to refresh itself as you continue to work on it.

I hope that when you feel like “I love you” you always say it.

When you feel like “I need you” you always ask.

And when you feel like “I appreciate you” you show it.

I hope that you both continue to have separate Facebook accounts and never mesh one together. Please don’t be about that life.

I wish for you to have fat healthy babies. Or baby. Your choice!

I hope you don’t start always referring to each other as “my husband” and “my wife.” We know who you are and will still manage to remember you’re married even if you refer to each other with your birth-given names.

I sincerely wish for you to become that super old couple everyone admires and younger people ask “How do you sustain a happy healthy marriage?”

~

As I think about all the things I want to wish for your union it dawns on me.

The same wishes I have for you, I have for me. Even the silly ones.

And as I send much love with all these wishes to you I know in my heart if I stay true to my own self as you both have,

the day will come you will be wishing me the same.

I’m dead serious about the Facebook one. Please. I beg of you.

love-quote-text-the-one-true-love-Favim.com-449221

Magdelena xo

I saw your eyes
And you touched my mind
Though it took a while
I was falling in love…