A 1st World Problem

For many of you reading, if not all, we do not know what it truly feels like to be starved. So before you read the following short story please understand, that I understand how this experience pales in comparison to real world issues of hunger.

With that disclaimer, please enjoy and possibly relate to my experience…

Human Moments: Sticky Fingers

9:00am. No breakfast. No time to fully prep but I did make a small sandwich to take to work. 11:00am. Small lunch. Felt more like a snack. Maybe I can run out and grab something else. Nope. No time. I had to go to the store after work. No dinner. Not yet.

6:30pm. First thing I pass is the deli. Okay, let me get 5 pieces of the general chicken and I can eat it while shopping. Then I felt embarrassed. So I quickly walked around the store gathering what I needed while catching a whiff of the spicy sweet chicken teasing me with its smell in the cart. Get out of my way kid. Why is she blocking the exact area I need to get to?! Crap I forgot the apple juice and it’s on the other side of the store. SIGH. I’ll get it right before I check out. Who is calling me?? It’s getting busy. I need to get out of here. Then, excluding my oh so special self with this next thought…

Why does everyone have to shop after work?

7:30pm. As I stick my card in the chip reader (and wait. and wait) I feel someone close by. Okay man behind me in line. Why are you standing so close? SIGH. Just think about the yummy new chocolate cashew milk you bought, Maggie. In about 30 minutes you’ll be seated with a tall glass of it, and dinner.

I hurry my cart towards the store exit, and just as I was about the leave the same man whom I deemed as annoying for standing so close to me tapped my shoulder, and handed me a bag I had left.

It was the chocolate cashew milk.

Wow! I thanked him for essentially chasing me down, and felt a slight surge of excitement knowing my chocolate milk was not forgotten. I threw the groceries in the trunk except for the chicken. The chicken got the passenger’s seat.

Damnit, I still forgot the apple juice.

I rip open the container at a red light and shove a piece of chicken in my mouth. The song on my playlist switches over to a little jazz number, and I feel a wave of calm take over. I thought “This is a nice song, why don’t I listen to it more often?” I suddenly felt more relaxed, and enjoyed being a passive listener versus the usual which entails my belting out any of my songs with reckless abandon.

Having chowed down on my 5 pieces of foul by the time I pulled up to my house, I grabbed the rest of the groceries, sticky fingers and all. Greeted excitedly by my nephew, niece, and a hyper little terrier I felt a familiar shift in my mood….was it them? I feel…less annoyed.

The hanger is real.

Maggie xo

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Who do I Love More?

Do you ever ask yourself this question? Maybe you’ve had to make a decision that would be great for you but might upset or shift a situation that you are either way too comfortable with, or someone else is?

I used to do this too much. It was like I was always second priority when it came to making choices. Even when the only person that would be affected was me-yes, I would put my “eh” self before my best one. And we know what this generally ties into right?

Our self-worth.

So, I try to ask myself these days:

“Who do I love more?”

Then I compare. For example, something I check in with frequently is the people I choose to keep close and support in my life. Boundaries can be a frequent issue for the givers. So, if I am “helping” someone by constantly giving them advice an ear and my time…but it is sucking up my mental energy, I would (and have) asked: “Who do love I more-that person, and their perhaps unrealized need to feed off my energy or me, and my need to preserve it?”

Does that make sense? Think about how effective this question can be if we really sit with it. It can even be for little things. Like, “Who do I love more-Jack and the Box jalapeño poppers or my body which has to deal with uncomfortably digesting it?”

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Why is that question so hard

So next time you are faced with a decision that you KNOW in your gut could have an excellent healthy solid answer if it not for some external factor or possible outcome that is maybe not so hot, again including your own not so hot feelings to stay comfortable or agreeable…ask yourself this question.

Who do I love more?

Because even when we have the best intentions and considerations for the things outside ourselves, that answer should pretty much always somehow,

Be You.

Maggie xo

Squirrel

Here’s to my people who enjoy doing nothing when you’re supposed to be doing something, or in this instance, end up doing some things that detour you from the everything else you were supposed to do…

I made plans to write my blog post this afternoon. The morning was super productive, sweet sleep in, awesome meditation session, and start of laundry. Before I started to write I decided to watch one quick show while I had some lunch. I sit on my bed, put my food aside and start the show search. This was one of those times where my food and TV time simply had to be paired. You know when your plate is ready, but you wait until that first intro note from a show to start eating…do you know? Is it just me?

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It can’t be just Me

I don’t have cable so it’s all about streaming.The show would not load from one site. The same show did not have any link sources on the next one. So I tried another, and another. And, another. There were other options, but that Taurus stubborn part of me decided THIS was the show that had to be watched with my lunch. I finally gave up and decided to watch Netflix. After all, I’d already wasted a few minutes and needed to get cracking on this blog post.

Then I looked at the clock.

I had spent almost 10 minutes looking at different stream sources, and waiting for them to load. I was so eerily focused I didn’t even realize how much time had passed.

Can you guess how much attention my writing received after that show? Maybe 10 minutes. Maybe. I had suddenly decided there were all these other things I needed to do before I went into writing mode. I changed the cover photo for my birthday brunch, watched a documentary, plucked my eyebrows…you know, all the important stuff.

Now here I am…almost 10 hours later writing about this to you. So yes, it IS getting done. Writing on my blog is honestly not the most important thing in the world to me, but it is important to me.

I find it funny, and interesting how often we invest in focusing on the doing these little unimportant things when we are in the midst of wanting to do what’s important. How often we direct our energy in thought and action on things that really don’t take us to the next level, or move us forward. They just sort of keep us occupied until we’re ready to do what matters.

And yet, all those little things we do to avoid what is needed to be done can be so fun right? I loved the documentary. It was fun to lay in bed creating a cool chicken and waffles-themed cover photo for the party. My eyebrows desperately needed some TLC and I saved a little money. If I hadn’t gone squirrel on myself today I would not have written such a truly inspired post…right?

Right…

Maggie xo

 

Sunday

2nd_pose1Yoga. Not the studio going lululemon-wearing perfect breathing with pretzel poses yoga…It was messy, I cried, and cursed at Yoga with Adriene.

But I felt so good afterward.

Sweaty Gratitude.

Backyard time. Sun. Cards. Wind. Heat. Something majorly poking my butt when I shifted my sitting position to meditate. Hair in my face and bugs.

Fulfilled.

Dinner with a friend. Bloody mary. Heavy food. Chats of romance and making friends. Beautiful baby painting with ranch dressing on the table. Disappearing waiter. We say thank you at the same time.

Heartfelt Fun.

Bookstore. Intriguing card deck discovered. Dusty smells. Long sunset drive home.

Love.

Home.

Night. Bed. The L Word binge. Comfort. Lots of texts.

This One,

“You don’t know how important you are to me.”

Grateful.

Maggie xo

Thirsty Thursday

I would like to share a video I made whilst on a quick Self-Retreat trip earlier this week.

Clearly my skills as a writer surpass my skills as both speaker and video editor however, my thoughts are

Why not? Life isn’t perfect why should my video presentation be?

Just do It.

I think my biggest take away from this trip was that it is important to love and accept myself fully. At my very core I am deserving of this, and AM this.

Love and Acceptance.

In the video I mention that I am “Thinking about the things I don’t like about myself.” Which is my way of going within, and pin pointing the things I am attached to that do not work for my highest good. If don’t like it I can change it, but I have to recognize it first.

I really do hope if anything…you the wonderful reader find yourself toying with the idea of creating your own self-retreat. You do not need a lot of money, or a super lengthy amount of time. You just need to decide that you want to do it.

Then do it.

Maggie xo

Interested in creating your own Self-Retreat but unsure of how to make it happen?

Contact me and I will work with you on planning something within your means, and around your every day life!

callavida@gmail.com

Guilty Gems

“You were not born to be like someone else. You were born to be like you.” ~Rebecca Campbell

So, I’m not really sure where I will go with this post. You might find yourself relating, amused, or some great surprise feeling you didn’t even expect to have from reading this. I don’t know, and with that I thank you for bearing with me!

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       Soooo…??

A mom that I work for has a TON of trashy magazines in her house. It is a special treat for me when I go over there because I never buy them, but boy do I find them entertaining if they’re lying around.

If you are judging me for this guilty pleasure feel free to stay seated waaaay up there while you read.

We all have our hidden gems though, right?

Anyway, I turn the TV on, make a neat stack of the magazines in my lap, four at a time, and then put them in chronological order. Because I am not afraid to admit the little ceremonial oddities that comfort my wonderfully weird mind.

I fly through the articles that look boring or with the pictures of fashionable items I can neither afford or pull off. I also tend to pause mid-mag and think…

Who am I to judge who wore it best? If they like it does it matter? Who cares? Why am I reading this crap? :Sigh: but I’m kinda really enjoying this.       This is not the time to go deep Maggie. It’s just not. Every moment of my life does not need to be analyzed in this way. I shake my head, keep reading, muttering to myself about who I decided wore it best and how cool it is that Selena Gomez wears jeans just like me.20151003_005032

I think it’s totally okay to indulge in this manner. Just do it. Keep the sessions short and sweet. Savor the mindless activities that relieve you of any pressure to do or be anything than just there.

And don’t compare yourself to famous people. Or anyone for that matter. If you wonder why-go back to the beginning.

Maggie xo

Heart Swells and Nausea

Last night my friends threw me a going away party.

It is one of two before I move to Texas,

and as bummed as I am to leave some really amazing people I am also
experiencing a heart swell so big it almost hurts, and makes me want to cryvalentine_face_1

or throw up…

Kind of like being in love?

I am so grateful.

Moving is the trigger for this feeling because it is causing me to reflect on my relationships, and what I would hope for with creating new ones.

You see…

Most of us are lucky to find a handful of people in our lives that we really connect with. We are especially lucky  to find friendships that remain solid over many years.

Most of us are lucky if we end a romantic relationship amicably and find gratitude in the experience. We are especially lucky to keep the friendship solid after that same ending.

So most of us are, and feel lucky if we can have some forms of this remain a constant throughout our lives.

As for me,

I have it all-with more than a handful of people.

And for that,

I am incredibly grateful.

pooh

Heart is swelling again

Maggie xo

Being Weird: 2nd Attempt

Alright! Here’s hoping this one goes through…

Below are a list of ways that I, and other awesome women I have had the privilege of knowing are owning and sharing our weird “things” we do.

I am certain this will be an enjoyable read for all.

Because let’s be real,

there will inevitably be some things on here that

YOU don’t fall too far behind from,

Or are right there with us on.

15 Somethings that are Weird

1. I move my feet around when I’m eating something I really love.

2. I have a song I sing to one of my cats (which I will never share with anyone).

3. I watch the movie Enchanted about once a month because I like the songs, and the feeling of fairy tales coming true. Patrick Dempsey ain’t too shabby either…

4. If someone is standing too close to me while I’m shopping I sometimes call them a space invader. Out loud. To their face.

5. When I finish a book I hug it.

6. Memorizing and smoothly executing an E-40 line empowers, and very much amuses me.

7. The calories or time of my workouts have to end in a 0 or a 5…any psych majors out there?2nd_pose1

8. I sleep comfortably  in the tree pose…

9. Sometimes I check my Facebook on my phone. While I am on it on my laptop.

and it’s open next to me on my Kindle.

From followers via Facebook:

10. “I walk around every time I’m on the phone talking with someone.” ~Amanda

11. “Me too! I always pace on the phone. And I talk to myself when alone. And then I talk to myself, telling myself to stop talking to myself, because it’s WEIRD.” ~Anjali

12. “Didn’t realize I did this until my husband pointed it out but I shake my foot/leg when I am sleepy. I guess in attempt to keep myself awake? Lol” ~Vanessa

13.  I move my toes while watching TV or a movie. Weird, I know!! Lol” ~Jessica

14. “When I get excited about something, my nose gets super itchy for some reason. Oh- and I talk to myself……frequently.” ~Toneka

15. “Sound effects while I drive lol. Talk to myself. Sing by myself while I drive.” ~Christina

Christina-good to know I’m not the only one who puts on concerts in the car!

frida

Maggie xo

Every Day

I have a good laugh every day.

Every single day.

It’s not something I force myself to do-because honestly I’m naturally pretty damn funny. Just made myself laugh right now from a text I sent someone else. With the intention to make them laugh… but it just happened to be really freaking funny alright?

The following are just a few things that make me laugh:

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Crying children
Awkward Family Photos
Awkward Family Photos
When someone makes fun of me
When someone makes fun of me (I am terrible at math)

The thing is-when you laugh every day certain things start to happen. You find it easier to get through tough stuff. You notice there are more opportunities in your life to have a laugh. There is no longer an honest effort to have a laugh on a daily basis; you just do. You also start to really resonate with how funny YOU are in you’re own funky unique way-and you become so easily entertained by your own humor it creates a better sense of self.

You are okay being alone. Because you’re not lonely.

So laugh.

Every day.

Maggie xo

Be the Change

I am going to keep this short, because I have stuff to do today. I am not giving myself the normal 2-4 hour block of time to go between writing, changing my Spotify playlist, checking Facebook, checking emails, and my phone (which aside from Instagram has the EXACT SAME CONTENT).

Guess what?

I am going to write a book.

Not later, not next spring, and not down the line when I feel I have an “aha” moment on what to write about. This is seriously on my bucket list.

So I’m doing it. Now.

Think I’m bluffing? Well here’s the thing. I had this thought about a week ago.

I am really tired of waiting. hurt-thomas-cooksey-00


I am tired of waiting for a lot of  good shit to happen to me…

So *I*-am going to start to happen to a lot of good shit.

I am going to place myself in good things.

Like the new job I  landed. Just pitched myself to do some marketing for the executive director. Guess what? She’s stoked! Or the many yoga studios in my area. I got a Groupon and decided why not studio hop myself into a great one I can commit to? Or the beautiful (it will NOT be used as kindling after the wedding) bridesmaid dress I ordered one size smaller than I am now because guess what? That’s a GOOD size for me to happen into.

You feel me on this waiting thing?

Back to the book. It WILL be published by June, and it WILL be in the living rooms or bathrooms of 100 people in my local area. Apparently if my book makes it to the bathroom it is a true success; according to my publisher.

I’m gonna go now.

Have some good shit I am happening to today.

Maggie (and Venus) xo

Pet me
She’s tired of waiting for good pets to happen to her…