Squirrel

Here’s to my people who enjoy doing nothing when you’re supposed to be doing something, or in this instance, end up doing some things that detour you from the everything else you were supposed to do…

I made plans to write my blog post this afternoon. The morning was super productive, sweet sleep in, awesome meditation session, and start of laundry. Before I started to write I decided to watch one quick show while I had some lunch. I sit on my bed, put my food aside and start the show search. This was one of those times where my food and TV time simply had to be paired. You know when your plate is ready, but you wait until that first intro note from a show to start eating…do you know? Is it just me?

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It can’t be just Me

I don’t have cable so it’s all about streaming.The show would not load from one site. The same show did not have any link sources on the next one. So I tried another, and another. And, another. There were other options, but that Taurus stubborn part of me decided THIS was the show that had to be watched with my lunch. I finally gave up and decided to watch Netflix. After all, I’d already wasted a few minutes and needed to get cracking on this blog post.

Then I looked at the clock.

I had spent almost 10 minutes looking at different stream sources, and waiting for them to load. I was so eerily focused I didn’t even realize how much time had passed.

Can you guess how much attention my writing received after that show? Maybe 10 minutes. Maybe. I had suddenly decided there were all these other things I needed to do before I went into writing mode. I changed the cover photo for my birthday brunch, watched a documentary, plucked my eyebrows…you know, all the important stuff.

Now here I am…almost 10 hours later writing about this to you. So yes, it IS getting done. Writing on my blog is honestly not the most important thing in the world to me, but it is important to me.

I find it funny, and interesting how often we invest in focusing on the doing these little unimportant things when we are in the midst of wanting to do what’s important. How often we direct our energy in thought and action on things that really don’t take us to the next level, or move us forward. They just sort of keep us occupied until we’re ready to do what matters.

And yet, all those little things we do to avoid what is needed to be done can be so fun right? I loved the documentary. It was fun to lay in bed creating a cool chicken and waffles-themed cover photo for the party. My eyebrows desperately needed some TLC and I saved a little money. If I hadn’t gone squirrel on myself today I would not have written such a truly inspired post…right?

Right…

Maggie xo

 

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Sunday

2nd_pose1Yoga. Not the studio going lululemon-wearing perfect breathing with pretzel poses yoga…It was messy, I cried, and cursed at Yoga with Adriene.

But I felt so good afterward.

Sweaty Gratitude.

Backyard time. Sun. Cards. Wind. Heat. Something majorly poking my butt when I shifted my sitting position to meditate. Hair in my face and bugs.

Fulfilled.

Dinner with a friend. Bloody mary. Heavy food. Chats of romance and making friends. Beautiful baby painting with ranch dressing on the table. Disappearing waiter. We say thank you at the same time.

Heartfelt Fun.

Bookstore. Intriguing card deck discovered. Dusty smells. Long sunset drive home.

Love.

Home.

Night. Bed. The L Word binge. Comfort. Lots of texts.

This One,

“You don’t know how important you are to me.”

Grateful.

Maggie xo

My Butterfly Effect

Synchronicity hit me this weekend in a few ways, through one insightful angel card reading, and one insightful friend.

“It’s okay Maggie, to fall apart. You don’t have to act put together all the time.”

Wise words from her last night, as she watched me sob over a very young friend I lost a few years ago. When you lose someone, at least in my experience, it does not hurt any less when you remember. Over time for me though, that point of pain would not so readily surface. When I reconnected with it last night it was like an emotional damn had been opened. I have not cried like that in front of someone in a long time. Since my move to another state I have felt at times that twinge of loneliness when you are adjusting to living away from cherished friends, and trying to make new ones. It felt good to be in the company of a person who could really see who I am, and understand the subtle conflict that was going on during a moment of complete vulnerability.

This morning after conducting an interview in a small stuffy office, I decided to take a little walk and get some pictures of this pretty residential community. Still a little hazy from the night before, and sad, it felt nice to be out getting some fresh air. As I walked around, a little friend in the form of a butterfly flew by and alongside me for a few moments.

Then it landed here:

butterfly

I watched him for what felt like forever, people passing me by, looking at me quietly staring, taking waaaay too many pics, but I didn’t care how nuts I appeared. I let myself get lost in the moment, and its beauty. I felt comforted.

Back to that synchronicity thing.

I then recalled a woman I met who was able to communicate with my friend who passed telling me that any time I saw a butterfly, it was his way of saying hello. Then, I remembered my dear friend who gave me the angel card reading sharing my connection to butterfly energy. She had urged me to pay attention to it. Ahhh. Okay. Message received.

And I smiled.

Maggie xo

Say It and Spray It

I was thinking about one of the nicest things someone said to me in 2015.

Her name was Ms. Aishu, and she was working the day I substituted at a local preschool. My shift was over during nap time, and I was slowly getting up from my seated station when I saw her walk by. I mouthed I was leaving and waved. Still walking by me she whispered goodbye, but then, back to me, I saw her pause. She slowly turned around, knelt in front of me and said,

“And by the way, you are very beautiful Ms. Maggie.”

valentine_face_1I think I looked like this when She told Me…

I appreciate Ms. Aishu for the moment. She went out of her way to say something nice to me instead of just thinking it. I had only known her a few hours, and resonated with the fact that it was probably a bit weird for her; paying such a pointed compliment to someone she didn’t know. Isn’t it funny how hard that can be for of us? To simply say something kind? The reason this is one of the nicest things said to me in 2015, doesn’t have to do with her using the word beautiful, but rather everything else wrapped up in the approach and intention of her sharing this with me.

With all the little negative things that happen to us every day, and the bigger tragedies happening around the globe right now it can be so easy to close in on our own personal, protective little bubble. Problem is it usually protects all the wrong things…our ego, fears, insecurities, and genuine spirit. We use it to ignore, or over dramatize so we do not have to take responsibility for something we feel is too big or far away to even address.

Back to Ms. Aishu.

I think we should all do what she did, and say nice things to each other we wouldn’t normally go out of our way to say, to people we know might not normally hear the nice things we might be thinking.

Try it. Say some nice things, to some people this week.

Maggie xo

Guilty Gems

“You were not born to be like someone else. You were born to be like you.” ~Rebecca Campbell

So, I’m not really sure where I will go with this post. You might find yourself relating, amused, or some great surprise feeling you didn’t even expect to have from reading this. I don’t know, and with that I thank you for bearing with me!

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       Soooo…??

A mom that I work for has a TON of trashy magazines in her house. It is a special treat for me when I go over there because I never buy them, but boy do I find them entertaining if they’re lying around.

If you are judging me for this guilty pleasure feel free to stay seated waaaay up there while you read.

We all have our hidden gems though, right?

Anyway, I turn the TV on, make a neat stack of the magazines in my lap, four at a time, and then put them in chronological order. Because I am not afraid to admit the little ceremonial oddities that comfort my wonderfully weird mind.

I fly through the articles that look boring or with the pictures of fashionable items I can neither afford or pull off. I also tend to pause mid-mag and think…

Who am I to judge who wore it best? If they like it does it matter? Who cares? Why am I reading this crap? :Sigh: but I’m kinda really enjoying this.       This is not the time to go deep Maggie. It’s just not. Every moment of my life does not need to be analyzed in this way. I shake my head, keep reading, muttering to myself about who I decided wore it best and how cool it is that Selena Gomez wears jeans just like me.20151003_005032

I think it’s totally okay to indulge in this manner. Just do it. Keep the sessions short and sweet. Savor the mindless activities that relieve you of any pressure to do or be anything than just there.

And don’t compare yourself to famous people. Or anyone for that matter. If you wonder why-go back to the beginning.

Maggie xo

The Green will Make you Grow

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Ahhh good old-fashioned, passive-aggressive acting, in your face confronting, insecurity creating, paranoid thought manifesting, Debbie downing speaking

Jealousy.

Jealousy is pretty taboo among women because we are really not interested in sharing a side of ourselves that exposes such a personal vulnerability. And it is my honest genuine opinion that this is exactly what jealousy equals=vulnerable.

So I brought it up to a group of over 100 women from all walks of life,

 and asked this question…

Ladies, when you feel that twinge of jealousy with other women how do you react to it? What thoughts crossed your mind? 

Leonardo da vinci

I really don’t know. I have recently become the one to be looked at that way. (Just being honest, not vain or rude) I had people tell me they are and its not in a mean way, At least I don’t think it is lol, but its nice to just say it and then let it go. ~Charlene

~

Durga PujaIN TO THE

As much as jealousy can sometimes come out in ways we feel kind of “icky” about, it can teach us something if we dig past that first layer of heat. It’s totally okay to shrug it off if we understand our general triggers, but if it becomes something reoccurring, or that really puts a fire under our tush then it IS important to uncover the “WHY.”

~

It’s lessened over time since becoming involved with metaphysics and self awareness practice…when it snuck up on me the other day and I caught it, my thought was “she might not even like that feature of hers, in fact it may be smoke and mirrors, IN FACT she may want what I or someone else has instead of what she does!!” And then it went away and she was an equal again.” ~Ali

Felicia

Although it can be uncomfortable revealing my “WHY” there is some relief in it. After
figuring out why (or simply acknowledging why) I am clinging on to a jealous feeling, or moment there follows growth. Because I
have just tapped into something I can work with. Something more logical, and less reactive. In this way actually, now that I think about it…you can do this with any negative emotions really.

It’s okay to experience jealous feelings. It’s okay to look at the girl with the seemingly perfect body or perfect partner or the perfect career and feel a little green. We ALL have those moments. What is NOT okay is acting upon them, using them as an excuse to put ourselves down, or not dealing with the WHY when it is more intense.

Face your shit ladies, or let it go.

The green will make you grow.

Maggie xo

Heart Swells and Butterflies

I heart Love.

My ability to simply sit with the feeling without having any particular person or situation in mind is something I’ve only recently really sank into.

Yet I still love that teenage heart leap when someone you find extra interesting catches your attention. I wouldn’t really call  myself a hopeless romantic… but rather a hopeful sapiosexual.

Meaty conversation, certainty in the uncertain, and a genuine interest in the world around us is what gets my heart pumping.

However, now I mean this with any type of relationship.

Romance, friendships, and work life…whomever, and wherever.

What it really ended up coming down to is the understanding that my energy in this life is precious. I don’t write this with any sense of exclusivity, but more so with a deeper sense of how this operates in my daily life. We experience the mundane and “normal” enough in our day to day. I understand every moment of my existence will not be filled with the type of love-feeling I am describing here,

But…

I also understand that between the larger solid rocks, in that metaphorical jar of what goes in on my life, and with who…the tiny grains of sand fillers are what make it exactly that…fulfilling. So as I move forward making adjustments to my own energy, that includes adjusting interactions that align more with who I am.

(Refer back to the sapiosexual comment)

Because I heart to love,

I will never settle for less than the heart swells and butterflies.

and darling,

Neither should you.

my_tears_turn_into_butterflies_by_love_undefined-d4fkfcp

Maggie xo

Wedding Wishes

I’d like to dedicate this blog post to my very special friend Christina.

Christina is the type of friend that had I not known her I am one hundred percent certain I would not be the person I am today.

How many of us are so lucky?

Christina is marrying the one. I am thrilled for them both as these days it is not as common to witness a couple getting married for simply the following reason:

Love.

love

So with this awesomeness are some wishes that have been sitting with me,

that I would like to share with you.

~wedding wishes~

I wish you both the kind of marriage that continues to refresh itself as you continue to work on it.

I hope that when you feel like “I love you” you always say it.

When you feel like “I need you” you always ask.

And when you feel like “I appreciate you” you show it.

I hope that you both continue to have separate Facebook accounts and never mesh one together. Please don’t be about that life.

I wish for you to have fat healthy babies. Or baby. Your choice!

I hope you don’t start always referring to each other as “my husband” and “my wife.” We know who you are and will still manage to remember you’re married even if you refer to each other with your birth-given names.

I sincerely wish for you to become that super old couple everyone admires and younger people ask “How do you sustain a happy healthy marriage?”

~

As I think about all the things I want to wish for your union it dawns on me.

The same wishes I have for you, I have for me. Even the silly ones.

And as I send much love with all these wishes to you I know in my heart if I stay true to my own self as you both have,

the day will come you will be wishing me the same.

I’m dead serious about the Facebook one. Please. I beg of you.

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Magdelena xo

I saw your eyes
And you touched my mind
Though it took a while
I was falling in love…

that Thing

calla

I have what I call a “Sex and the City” fantasy where I live in a super swanky apartment in New York with a gray great dane and disposable income whilst not working full-time.
Fantasy indeed.

It’s tweaked now, took it down a notch as I am more of a beach gal and not ready for the responsibility of a such a wonderful (and needy) mammal.
But the great thing is however I tweak it-it’s going to happen.

Because I am just crazy enough to know that whatever things make me feel excited, elated, happy, fulfilled and REAL are always possible to get into my tiny-handed grasp.
Do I have to work for and at it? Yes. Fall sometimes? Yes. Fail sometimes? Yes.
Keep it moving.
My new rule is if it scares me, but I get excited thinking about the other side of that fear…then I do it.
Because most of us who follow what we are really meant for in life, what we not only secretly want to do, but feel almost a sense of duty to do will run into fear.
Passion will always beat the distraction of fear-if you keep it at the forefront of your mind, and use it to jump over all those mental obstacles meant to keep you replaying, and reliving your bullshit. And mine.

Look, it doesn’t even have to be scary, or a game changer for anyone but you! You love knitting and want to show off your stuff? Start an Instagram where you debut all your latest projects. Love to sing but not interested in auditioning for American Idol? Buy a karaoke system and master Bohemian Rhapsody for your own personal satisfaction!

So follow that “thing” that makes you feel crazy passionate…and even a bit vulnerable.
For me it’s jalapeno poppers,
and women fully connecting with their worth,
Cuz it took me too damn long to fully connect with Mine.

Maggie xo

Mom: the real Shero

Moms…

How do you it?

I am not a mother, and after my earlier/mid 30s when my biological clock lost its tick (which excuuse me feels more like a BANGING) I now rest easy knowing it may or may not happen.

Because being a mom is tough, and I know that even at 35 years old I personally am not ready to take on all that entails.

So again I ask…

How the hell do you do it?

You know the top answer I receive when I ask this question?

“I don’t know…I just do.”

This is where the awesomeness comes in.

You might not recognize it all the time Mamas, but still you know you do it all,

and that’s exactly how you do it.

You are resourceful.

A teacher.

A leader.

THE leader in many cases.

The entertainer,

re-director,

Cooker (mayyybe)

cleaner,

and boo-boo healer

(for any age)

You are

our comfort,

protector, and a source of

significant support.

You are loving,

loved,

and needed.

motherday

Maggie xo