I would like to share about a walk I went on recently in a city that lies on top of an engineered landfill. The homes all look the same, and there is generic shopping center after shopping center.
In other words, the general scenery is more bland than iceberg lettuce.
But the sweet job I landed in this city is worth the eye boredom.
I have to cross a bridge in order to get home. On this particular day traffic was still high after work, and there was no way I was going to sit idle on a bridge in earthquake friendly California. So I drove with intuition around the neighborhood I worked in, pulled over, and started walking.
I came across a trail by more bland homes, and ended up walking on a path parallel to a small body of water.
Then things shifted as I paid attention.
And here is a little bit of what I captured.
It ended up being a really nice walk! I had some good music on the headphones, embraced the chilly weather, and searched for pretty plants.
As you can see, I was able to find them.
It reminded me of life-we are not always in the midst of blatant beauty. It is not always right there in our face and for the most part, most of us don’t really pause to capture it in our day to day lives.
But it IS there, and it is only when we begin to set the intent to find it that things will start to step forward to us. Maybe a really bright gorgeous piece of fruit at the grocery store that also smells delicious. A passing moment when you walk by a stranger, and there is a brief exchange of smiles.
Think about it. What are the little things that you find beautiful? The things that give you the feels? I actually have some of those things written on a memo in my phone to bring me joy. I also jot down moments of unexpected enchantment to remind me that there is still the little girl in me whose soul likes to be fed.
More importantly, there is the adult that I am, who needs to be fed.
It is important to find some beauty amidst the bland.
This is another way to access your point of peace.
Contact me today to receive support with accessing your personal point of peace!
You are so deserving of self-love, overall health, and internal balance. Part of maintaining a life like this is remembering to check in even when beautiful momentum hits. Because as important as it is to enjoy the ride of beautiful momentum we sometimes end up exhausted from it. We wonder why, only to look down and realize we are riding with both hands holding on, too tightly clenched.
This is the point where we need to figure out how to stay on the ride while letting go just enough to relax our grip on things, in order to stay fully connected with the beauty.
For myself, beautiful momentum is hitting me through my work as a Reiki practitioner.
I could not be more grateful! As I sit here writing this to you, I am filled with loving thoughts of the people I have been able to support thus far.
I am also filled with a fiery type feeling with thoughts of the work that is still to come.
I have been thinking about what would be the best way to continue this work, and to grow it, while loosening my grip just enough to stay present with the momentum. How can I support others 100% if I am not continuously supporting myself, doing this work?
So here I am, sharing my thoughts with you, and with great excitement presenting an updated version of my services!
Thank you so much for your support! I look forward to this updated chapter!
Please forward this post to anyone you feel might benefit from support through Reiki.
They say there is always some truth behind “just kidding,”emotion behind “I don’t care,” and knowledge behind “I don’t know.”
I made two huge decisions. I made them based on how I was being treated in both my own home and at a new job. Simply put, I was being treated unfairly. It has taken me a long time to really, like, REALLY stand up for myself. I do it now in a way that when any fear or self-doubt comes to the surface it immediately becomes transmuted, because I have done the inner work to let that shit easily go.
What’s not easy at times however, is what happens after I stand up for myself…
Roommate trying to get me to pay a large bill I had nothing to do with? Never cleaning up the kitchen and always late on rent? Now the utilities are turned off?! I can’t live here, it is not healthy for me. Time to move out, even if I don’t have another home of my own to immediately move into.
New job starts off with the agreement of typical full-time hours, and time to ease into things as it will end up being a demanding position that pulls me in various directions throughout the day….I worked almost 40 hours in 4 days, now you are calling my personal cell all weekend, on my days off, when you just gave me a work phone? I’m exhausted. My chest hurts. I can’t work like this, it is not healthy for me. So let me share with you how I feel. I am overwhelmed. This is too much and I work hard. You don’t care? Go find another job? Deuces.
Remaining in both those situations with no hope for change did not align with the person I represent myself to be and I for damn sure was not “Mastering Self-Care” during this time. As my mom told me, I needed to drink from the same cup I pour out of for my coaching clients. For the women who might not have all the answers but can feel it when things are not right. Who don’t play it safe and stand up for themselves. For herself. For She. For we. Even if the risk might be high, she knows the greater risk of not creating healthy changes for herself will end up costing her more. So I left the two things that essentially define us as we get older, and am left with just myself.
Eh, not too shabby; I kind of like myself…
I will share though, that right now I am feeling a bit lost. What do I do beyond the basic mundane of finding work and a roof? I am unclear as to what exactly “settling down” looks like for me. I don’t know what I want. I don’t know.
And you know what?
Just as I did when I was 35 I will keep it moving in forward confusion.
Because the last time I did this-the most amazing things happened, and not only did I create positive change in my own life, it ended up trickling into the lives of others.
Being unclear might be the best thing that is happening to me right now. I just need to keep trying. I am definitely a butterfly mind, and I know what comes next.
Something amazing. Something better.
I knew 2015 would change my life.
I knew it would because I decided that this year would be my year of clarity and change. When you set an intention out to the world, and decide I will rather than “I’ll try,” you set things in motion.
“I’ll try” is done from a seated position, whereas “I will” is the getting up.
This is one major aspect that not everyone really thinks about. We plan, we research, we change our minds, we wait for the “right time,” and we end up doing all of that from the seated position when what we really need to do is get up. Start following whatever is in front of us on our right path. Make decisions along the way. Follow the bread crumb trail and make the pit stops when you hit those important landmarks.
Sometimes the path can mean veering from the one you’ve been on for a while, and taking a risk because your gut tells you 1) The path you’re on is leading nowhere, 2) The uncertain path WILL lead you to better things, or 3) Both…
It’s usually the last one.
Now I believe in simply moving forward in any capacity. Take one small trip to a new event. Have a medium-sized conversation with someone you normally don’t engage with on Facebook. Skip the chocolate tonight. Take the stairs. Apply for some dream jobs whilst working at your current one.
Do a small “let’s just check and see what the rent costs are” in the area you’ve thought about moving to…
Or a huge one-way ticket to a new home.
I’m just following the bread crumb trail because I know in the end no matter where I end up I will stay consistently satiated.
Because I keep picking things up along the way that feed me, and letting go of the things that do not.
I have been working on this particular blog post for about 3 weeks, and I move in 3 days. I have never relocated this far from my friends and family. I have never relocated indefinitely, and I have never relocated not know what would be in store for me with many *adultish* aspects of my life.
No job, no car, and no home of my own.
I guess that’s what makes this incredibly exciting, and scary at the same time…
3o Somethings of Saying Goodbye
1. You have mini “what if” panic attacks.
2. Time flies.
3. You start to think about the loved ones you are leaving behind, and how they can’t be replaced.
4. So you must share with your loved ones how you feel.
5. As it gets closer, each day leading up to your goodbye seems to matter just a little bit more.
6. There are some fantasies going on as the possibilities start to come up with the “hello” part after your goodbye…
7. You experience sporadic overloads of emotion.
8. You think about old friends that you have not talked to in a while,
9. and recall either why you haven’t, or look back fondly.
10. Time flies.
11. Everyone gives their opinion about the changes you are making.
12. You start to tune out opinions about the changes you are making.
13. Packing is very organized in your mind,
14. but executed in a very unorganized fashion.
15. Time. Flies…
16. To experience doubt-it’s normal for our brains to question things that take us outside our comfort zone.
17. To go through weird emotions. Just roll with them-they’ll pass if you let them through.
18. If you throw some things away that make you cringe because they have sentimental value. The sentiment will stay even if the material item does not.
19. To freak out a little.
20. If the next chapter of your life is not fully planned out.
21. That you don’t take much with you.
22. To close the door on relationships you’ve kept simply for keeping’s sake. This is your time to clear any emotional clutter as well.
23. If you need some space to adjust. Grounding yourself into a new environment is your job anyway.
24. To dream bigger than you ever have. Starting a new chapter brings the opportunity to check in with your goals.
From followers via Facebook
(Ladies you might just be my regulars on 30 Somethings!)
25. “How family & friends react.” ~Coy
26. “It’s the uncertainty of one’s decision. Did we make the right choice?“~Jodie
27. “I love the excitement of change…being pushed out of my comfort zone gives me a nervous excitement. I love new challenges and making new friends when I move to a new place! I hope to do it again soon!” ~Brigette
28. “The hardest part for me is finding “my people…”My favorite checker at the grocery store or the quirky lady that helps me at CVS, the guy at the bakery that knows my order when I walk int he door. Those are the ones I won’t keep in touch with through Facebook. They are who I truly miss…” ~Marni
29. “Bring the gifts they gave you [friends]…to share with those you meet ahead….there is so much wealth..we are giving to pass on, and so many people crave it…” ~Jayne
30. “In all those years here, you have meet so many people, some that had greatly enriched your life, while others just came and went. For those people who enriched your life, tell them how, what they taught you, maybe like laughing at yourself, or reaching farther than you wanted, what did they teach you, that you will bring to your new home and the people you met?
What was their gift, they passed on to you…..“
Last night my friends threw me a going away party.
It is one of two before I move to Texas,
and as bummed as I am to leave some really amazing people I am also
experiencing a heart swell so big it almost hurts, and makes me want to cry
or throw up…
Kind of like being in love?
I am so grateful.
Moving is the trigger for this feeling because it is causing me to reflect on my relationships, and what I would hope for with creating new ones.
Most of us are lucky to find a handful of people in our lives that we really connect with. We are especially lucky to find friendships that remain solid over many years.
Most of us are lucky if we end a romantic relationship amicably and find gratitude in the experience. We are especially lucky to keep the friendship solid after that same ending.
So most of us are, and feel lucky if we can have some forms of this remain a constant throughout our lives.
As for me,
I have it all-with more than a handful of people.
And for that,
I am incredibly grateful.
Heart is swelling again…
My sister is here in town for a lengthy visit. We are all very excited to have her, my baby niece, and sweet 5 year-old nephew in our every day lives for the next three weeks. She traveled with both kiddos for the first time all the way from East coast over here to California. They arrived here safe and sound, but not without experiencing all the possible challenges that arise when you are in the hands of a major airline.
As I hopped in my car to go get the fam I received a text that they had boarded the plane but once again, their flight was delayed. It was too late to turn around and besides, my GPS indicated it was going to take over an hour in traffic to get to the airport. Having not had dinner, and driving stick shift in a non-AC car during commuting hour set the tone for my arrival. After circling a few times in the hourly parking I found the section close enough to their airline where we wouldn’t get lost coming back out, and raced inside to find a small snack that would hold me over until we got home.
Thank you Starbucks, for being at the end of every commercial street, and in every possible nook an establishment will allow you to take over.
Overcome with hanger (hungry+angry) I whipped out my gift card every educator receives at the end of the school year and pointed to the most carbo-filled chunk of chocolate in the display case I could find. I ordered a large milky overly sweetened coffee, and just in case the chocolate chunk wasn’t enough for my…small snack, I ordered a croissant as well. My hanger quickly disappeared. Just the thought of having food in my possession changed my state of mind.
You would think I would have yanked those pastries right out of the cashier’s hand and gone to town, but nope. First I had to find a desirable setting for the first bite. If you are a foodie, or struggle with an emotional connection to food you will understand this. I do think though that at some point many of us, if not all, do this.
I needed to find a suitable place to wait for my family whilst having the freedom to wholeheartedly devour this “small snack” from the Bucks. I looked at my two options.
As much as I love Virgin America’s positive “club lounge” feel there were too many cute guys that would would lose focus on my great hair as I ate, and gay ones that would judge my conduct as I ate. So I opted for the corner of a less fabulous airline. Facing the street. I plucked my purse down, chugged my coffee, and first pulled out the marble loaf. My moment was here. I took a monstrous bite into my baked floury treat, and breathed out a huge sigh. So huge in fact, pieces of the treat flew out of my mouth onto my purse.
Told ya I couldn’t have sat at Virgin.
Calmed down with food, and having some time to kill I got to thinking. What was it about my attachment to food that could present a kind of determined action to create a certain moment with it? Is it just me? Am I the only one who so impulsively makes unhealthy choices while at the same time PLOTS on what the environment will look like when I eat it? I know this can’t be good. I mean I opted to be away from great music and eye candy to face the street so I could comfortably eat food.
Within two hours of that snack I was home eating dinner. The food I consumed had already left my system, but I knew some of it would stay on my thighs.
Memories to last until the next workout.