I would like to share about a walk I went on recently in a city that lies on top of an engineered landfill. The homes all look the same, and there is generic shopping center after shopping center.
In other words, the general scenery is more bland than iceberg lettuce.
But the sweet job I landed in this city is worth the eye boredom.
I have to cross a bridge in order to get home. On this particular day traffic was still high after work, and there was no way I was going to sit idle on a bridge in earthquake friendly California. So I drove with intuition around the neighborhood I worked in, pulled over, and started walking.
I came across a trail by more bland homes, and ended up walking on a path parallel to a small body of water.
Then things shifted as I paid attention.
And here is a little bit of what I captured.
It ended up being a really nice walk! I had some good music on the headphones, embraced the chilly weather, and searched for pretty plants.
As you can see, I was able to find them.
It reminded me of life-we are not always in the midst of blatant beauty. It is not always right there in our face and for the most part, most of us don’t really pause to capture it in our day to day lives.
But it IS there, and it is only when we begin to set the intent to find it that things will start to step forward to us. Maybe a really bright gorgeous piece of fruit at the grocery store that also smells delicious. A passing moment when you walk by a stranger, and there is a brief exchange of smiles.
Think about it. What are the little things that you find beautiful? The things that give you the feels? I actually have some of those things written on a memo in my phone to bring me joy. I also jot down moments of unexpected enchantment to remind me that there is still the little girl in me whose soul likes to be fed.
More importantly, there is the adult that I am, who needs to be fed.
It is important to find some beauty amidst the bland.
This is another way to access your point of peace.
Contact me today to receive support with accessing your personal point of peace!
You are so deserving of self-love, overall health, and internal balance. Part of maintaining a life like this is remembering to check in even when beautiful momentum hits. Because as important as it is to enjoy the ride of beautiful momentum we sometimes end up exhausted from it. We wonder why, only to look down and realize we are riding with both hands holding on, too tightly clenched.
This is the point where we need to figure out how to stay on the ride while letting go just enough to relax our grip on things, in order to stay fully connected with the beauty.
For myself, beautiful momentum is hitting me through my work as a Reiki practitioner.
I could not be more grateful! As I sit here writing this to you, I am filled with loving thoughts of the people I have been able to support thus far.
I am also filled with a fiery type feeling with thoughts of the work that is still to come.
I have been thinking about what would be the best way to continue this work, and to grow it, while loosening my grip just enough to stay present with the momentum. How can I support others 100% if I am not continuously supporting myself, doing this work?
So here I am, sharing my thoughts with you, and with great excitement presenting an updated version of my services!
Thank you so much for your support! I look forward to this updated chapter!
Please forward this post to anyone you feel might benefit from support through Reiki.
I was almost done writing a different blog post for tonight.
I was almost done.
Let me tell you, it’s powerful. It touches on women’s issues. It was written from my heart.
But the couple at the table in front of me started arguing.
I have been single for a while now and forgot the part of being with someone you love like crazy who can also drive you like, crazy. I am also generally not an argumentative person, particularly in public, so this kind of suckered me in.
Slightly raised voices, leaning in to get the point through gritted teeth, and side glances at me as I was in closest proximity to them.
I was very much seated in an audience position.
Don’t judge me. I still kept trying to finish my post. Tried to get into the feeling I had only a few moments before she raised her voice, and he raised up his hands in response….
But I couldn’t.
I felt like I was a peering cautiously into an exhibit at the relationship zoo.
More raised voices, her running off to the bathroom, and more side glances. She comes back in tears, and proceeds to ignore him as they look at their menus. Attempt to deflate the tension in the air with a softer, lower tone. Hair flips then silence.
Maybe I can stop chatting online and get back to this heartfelt meaningful pos-
Uh oh. Suddenly with clearly frustrated body language he leaned across the table and did the thing.
And I knew exactly what he was going to tell her, more or less.
It did not end well.
Ah. To be in love. And part of its zoo.
I am writing this on a whim…my Black Fridays entail steering clear of any place that advertises this happening.
I just came across a YouTube video from a man named Ralph Smart. He was quite entertaining to watch, and dives pretty deep while keeping the spirit lifted.
It’s a pleasant combination.
As a single person I found this empowering, and also thought, what a great check-in for those in relationships, who like myself, are always trying to dig just a little bit deeper…
Stay Single until You find Someone:
We need these men to more boldly step forward.
I don’t spend much time looking around for advice about being single because it all tends to be the same, and in my 30s it’s unfortunate that for the most part, advice is based off of trying to help me reach some end point of ultimate happiness. I very much appreciated this video, and just had to share.
To the ones who are happily single-you can continue to be truly happy and still desire to connect with someone! And, to the ones who are not-from personal experience, you won’t be able to genuinely connect with someone, until you can truly be happy.
I recently started a new gig hanging out with a young woman who has special needs. She was tough to read when I was interviewed with her, but mom told me that because she didn’t just get up and go to her room, I impressed her. Ahh, got it! From that point I started to visit her once a week for a little fun socializing. We shoot hoops in the backyard, play games, and cook. I am really enjoying it.
Today as we were side by side prepping to cook delicious shrimp quesadillas there was this moment. It was this beautiful quiet that can happen when you are fully present with cooking. If you love to cook, you know this moment well.
We were having it.
A few minutes in I hear a giggle, and feel a light touch on the small of my back:
“I like you.”
Let’s stop for a moment here. Think about this. How often do we tell people we like them when we like them? How often do we say “I love you” when we feel it? Not “love ya,” but the entire thing.
I. Love. You.
I. Like. You.
I think it is because it puts us in a fairly vulnerable state to say these words out loud. We feel so yummy inside, and it’s our feeling, but caused by someone else. We don’t say it much because as simple as these words are, they carry so much meaning. And just as my friend had to let out her giggle right before she touched me, statements such as these almost always bring a visceral reaction, right before we say them.
I have learned in my recent years to step into this type of vulnerability over and over again. I say I like you when I like you. I tell you are awesome if you are awesome. If you amaze me, well, take that to heart because I am not the easiest person to impress, ha! And if you asked any of my family or friends if I love them, they without hesitation, would say yes.
Because as much as I try to show them, I tell them too.
Back to this endearing moment.
“I like you.”
Oh! and awe. This feels nice to hear.
And for that moment, I could see myself through her eyes. She just liked the fact, that I was me. How cool is that.
And how bravely sweet of her, to tell me exactly what she was feeling.
I was recently chosen to do a video shoot for Callavida. How fortunate am I? How lucky. I was excited!
I was also super nervous-even though I can do videos on the fly for my Instagram account this was different. I get so much anxiety around planned attention on me. This is my introverted side.
The time came to meet at a beautiful botanical garden, as I had asked to shoot everything outdoors. We met at 7:30 am, and by 11:00-ish a few things started to happen…
I became so freaking hot.
From that I became so freaking sweaty my face started to develop a “sunkicked” glow.
I realized having breakfast would have been a good idea.
Any opportunity a bug had to bite me, it would. Nothing I could do in a knee length dress.
Overall, I was feeling the exhaustion of the work we put in, as he warned me I would.
But shortly after all of this hit we arrived at an area of the garden that had patches of plants specifically grown to attract one of my most cherished creatures on this planet.
There were mostly monarchs, and a few adorably petite, lightly colored ones. I stood there completely enchanted.
And here is the part where I connected with my POP…my point of peace.
Remember how I felt? Toasty, itchy, shiny in a bad way, and slightly lightheaded from having not eaten. All those feelings were at the forefront of my mind, and my skin. But when I stood there in front of these freaking awesome symbols of growth I suddenly became very present. It felt like when I was kid and would lie on my stomach with a book. There was this touch of magic.
For the next 15 minutes or so, as my friend took video of them I slowly made my way around. I giggled at the ones that flew so suddenly close and away, as if gently jolted by my being an obstacle of flight. I stared as closely as I could with every fiber of my attention at the ones landing on the dusty yellow parts that continuously provided them a sweet feeding. This fed me too.
I talked to them, mostly in my crazy cat lady voice but hey, I think they got it. Even if they didn’t I imagined they did, and that in itself calmed me down.
This was my POP
Your point of peace does not have to be anything grand. It can be the weightlessness of floating in the tub for a few moments. The mindlessness of reading that celebrity magazine you splurged on after a stressful day, or diving into to the depths of a good book, if even for a few pages. It can be ice cream satisfaction feels or the “ahhh” sigh with that first sip of coffee.
Or, it can be butterfly feels.
Most of the time I don’t know what the hell I am doing. I plan on certain things happening-eating, sleeping(at some point), work, and bills. Most everything else, I navigate day to day, gut feeling by gut feeling.
I kinda just do as I go, and go as I do.
I love it.
I love it because I used to plan a lot in the past.
I had a plan for every possible negative outcome that could happen when it came to my health, relationships, and any natural talents I possessed.
You see, all the planning I was doing essentially stemmed from fear. Sketched out by my insecurities, outlined by my worries, and essayed by my anxiety.
I didn’t realize how much this way of thinking contributed to my habit of self-sabotage until I saw a therapist.
Which is a whole different blog post I might get to in the future.
Back to the planning thing. Planning is not all negative. Planning can be really great, and imperative for certain situations. The planning I was consistently doing was not healthy. Over the years I learned, and am learning, what kind of planner I am, what kind of planner I want to be, and what kind of planner I don’t want to be.
These are three things I believe we should not hold off on for the perfect plan.
The weather, people, and creative ideas.
Waiting for the perfect sunshine weather to take a walk along that beach you love? First of all, be grateful you live close enough to a beach to do that because I am very jealous right now, and second, put on a hoodie…go for that walk. Waiting for the perfect person to sweep you off your feet? Sweep yourself off your feet, and your vision of this desired person will become less narrow, thus opening your eyes to greater possibilities.
Have an idea that charges up your creative mojo, lights up your mind, and ignites your soul? Don’t wait to talk to someone you think has it all together to help you perfectly lay things out. Don’t wait until you’ve sorted through all your notes, sketches, or recordings. Pluck one thing from the beautiful mess of a potentially amazing idea, and do something with it.
Because if you wait until some perfect sign, person, or plan comes around you are not really doing much more than waiting, are you not?
You gotta do at least one thing with your something in order to figure out if this something, is even…something!
And who knows? This one thing from this something could be the key to discovering if it is even anything.
It could be something.
It could be nothing.
It could be everything.
I know lately you might be looking around at what is going in our world and feel a number of things…and I understand. I feel it too. I am not all of these things all of the time, but I am all of these at different points in time.
It is so important to try to hone in the weight of super heavy emotions, and do what needs to be done to lift them off. With everything that we are it can feel so tough, but we are not the ones experiencing the toughest. There are people suffering in real time, right now, and for those of us who feel it yes, it is a legitimate feeling. But if you are reading this, you are also mostly safe right now. The tears are being shed in the safety of our homes, apartment, office, and cars.
Go ahead and feel it, but please don’t forget this:
1) You have the power to take action with the things you feel are wrong with this world. You have a voice, you have social media, maybe a little extra income, or some extra time.
2) Your getting back to that calmer place inside of you, your point of peace, WILL make a difference in the world.
As you step outside into daily life, going to the office, getting groceries, or taking your kids to the park…your peace could very well become the one refreshing, or comforting thing to someone you cross paths with. Think about how caring for yourself has a ripple effect on the every day interactions you have with other people who could very well be challenged just the way you have been.
This is how you make a difference.
I have a student at my work who is a little negative Nancy. She never seems entirely happy from moment to moment, nor easily satisfied. For example, one day we were coloring during free time, and she mentioned wanting to have her old teacher back. I asked what did she like about her that made her want be back in her class? She replied “Well she let me draw and color during free time.”
A few days ago it ended up being just us two girls and a handful of boys in program. For first period they all wanted to play basketball. Normally I play with them (grandma shots and all), but of course, my negative Nancy was unhappy that we all wanted to do something physically active…during physical activity time. She slumped onto a bench nearby and crossed her arms. I decided to see if I could help shift her mood.
“Have you ever played M.A.S.H.?”
I took out some paper from my work binder and gave her first turn. She chose potential jobs, number of children, pets, and “types” of future husbands. When it was time to count off she declared that picking a type of husband was the hardest part.
I might have to agree with her on that one.
When we finished the first round she was appalled at the job she landed. “Whyyyy did I get THAT job?!” Imitating her signature whiny tone I answered.
“Becaaaause, you CHOSE that job!”
Then, it was my turn.
Now this is where it got kind of cool. My girl initially picked some pretty mediocre shit. She had never played the game, and was understandably unfamiliar with how to fully engage it. So as my turns went on, and I had named a horse as one of my pets, “a wild warrior” as a potential husband, and one of my jobs getting paid to travel it started to sink in for her.
There were no limits.
What were her dreams like at this age?
We played back and forth for the entire period. By the time we got to her last turn she was clapping in delight, as she landed an “artistic guy,” a pet dragon, zero kids, and a job as an artist. When I asked if she thought these things could come true she shrugged, but then mentioned with a slight smile, “But it’s what I WANT.”
Later that night I thought about our time together and how my turns went. The initial ones were more in the area of magical outcomes, more silly to reflect the lightness of the game to my Nancy, but also with a hint of truth to which I would not share with even the closest of friends. Sometimes children keep the best secrets. One turn midway I realized was what I thought I wanted, and the very last turn ended up being most of things I currently, really wanted.
Well, maybe I can’t have a pet wolf.
But perhaps one day I will have the opportunity to pet one.