The Water Relationship

I am writing this on a whim…my Black Fridays entail steering clear of any place that advertises this happening.

I just came across a YouTube video from a man named Ralph Smart. He was quite entertaining to watch, and dives pretty deep while keeping the spirit lifted.

It’s a pleasant combination.

 As a single person I found this empowering, and also thought, what a great check-in for those in relationships, who like myself, are always trying to dig just a little bit deeper…

Stay Single

Stay Single until You find Someone:

  • You love to eat with-I have never really think about this, but food, meals, the way I cook and explore…it would be only fitting to be with someone who carries at least some of my interests in this area!
  • Who helps you evolve, and wants you to.
  • Who loves your heart as much as your backside-looks change, we are more than our beautiful bodies, and you want to be with someone who is just as attracted, if not more, to your heart.
  • That enjoys your silence as much as your words….no awkwardness in the quiet. I was actually thinking I would like to be with someone who also appreciates it.
  • That motivates you just by thinking about them.
  • Who is ready to be vulnerable with you! For those of us who date men-listen up. A sensitive man who shows you his heart on all sides is showing you he trusts you. Appreciate that. In the world we live in right now.

We need these men to more boldly step forward.

I don’t spend much time looking around for advice about being single because it all tends to be the same, and in my 30s it’s unfortunate that for the most part, advice is based off of trying to help me reach some end point of ultimate happiness. I very much appreciated this video, and just had to share.

To the ones who are happily single-you can continue to be truly happy and still desire to connect with someone! And, to the ones who are not-from personal experience, you won’t be able to genuinely connect with someone, until you can truly be happy.

love

Maggie xo

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Heart Path

I knew 2015 would change my life.

I knew it would because I decided that this year would be my year of clarity and change. When you set an intention out to the world, and decide I will rather than “I’ll try,” you set things in motion.

“I’ll try” is done from a seated position, whereas “I will” is the getting up.

This is one major aspect that not everyone really thinks about. We plan, we research, we change our minds, we wait for the “right time,” and we end up doing all of that from the seated position when what we really need to do is get up. Start following whatever is in front of us on our right path. Make decisionsblog along the way. Follow the bread crumb trail and make the pit stops when you hit those important landmarks.

Sometimes the path can mean veering from the one you’ve been on for a while, and taking a risk because your gut tells you 1) The path you’re on is leading nowhere, 2) The uncertain path WILL lead you to better things, or 3) Both…

It’s usually the last one.

Now I believe in simply moving forward in any capacity. Take one small trip to a new event. Have a medium-sized conversation with someone you normally don’t engage with on Facebook. Skip the chocolate tonight. Take the stairs. Apply for some dream jobs whilst working at your current one.

Do a small “let’s just check and see what the rent costs are” in the area you’ve thought about moving to…

Or a huge one-way ticket to a new home.

I’m just following the bread crumb trail because I know in the end no matter where I end up I will stay consistently satiated.

Because I keep picking things up along the way that feed me, and letting go of the things that do not.

Maggie xo

Heart on My Sleeve…where it will Stay

I like Taylor Swift. She makes me happy and also sits with me on some sadness I have experienced in past relationships. She reminds of my niece and I have fun singing to her in the car. Okay I love her.

I like the movie Enchanted. The song at the end that Carrie Underwood sings about “ever ever afterrrr?” Love. Yea I love this movie.

I sometimes YouTube Jim and Pam’s wedding just for a smile.

I check in with an ex a few times a year just to remind myself that some connections can still warm my heart-even if it didn’t work out.

I get pedicures with another who is now a great friend and still makes me laugh harder than most people I know. (Yup, pedis)

I forgive.

I let go.

Keep smiling.

Hoping;

Believing.

Looking forward, and

Loving.

Knowing

That as much as life has given me reasons to tuck it away (because let’s face it sometimes love just SUCKS right?) my heart will always remain on my sleeve, and that in keeping it there, it is a courageous way of loving myself, too.

Maggie xo

Happy Love Day

Love comes in many forms.

So on this Valentine’s Day remember:

If you are in a healthy relationship spread the love to others in your life who might need a little reminder. A quick text with a funny pic can make a difference, or a phone call to ask what they’re up to over the weekend. A simple gesture to let your other loved ones know that they are loved too-just as a little reminder.

If you are in an UNhealthy relationship know that you deserve more. Please-REALLY sit with this thought and see if there is ONE small step you can take today towards better health. Do it today and watch LOVE and an honest CHANGE show you you CAN-as a little (or huge) reminder.

If you are feeling low, or lonely (or both) it is most likely because you are thinking about something or someone you don’t have. Look towards those in your life that DO love you-just as a little reminder.

If you are sort of pissy about the day and feel the need to express this to everyone via snarky comments or posts on Facebook this in an issue. With you. Stop fighting it and face it so you can be happier. Plus no one likes a person who pisses on a day even as cheesy as this. Reread this as a little reminder.

If like me, you see the positive in this day but know you will need to occupy yourself then grab onto some love as a little reminder. Grab onto a friend, go on a casual date, watch some terrible movies with family, or reach out to someone you know is feeling down.

I prefer to call this day “LOVE Day” because it SHOULD be about THAT….

Just a little reminder.

Screenshot_2015-02-12-18-57-30 Click me =)

Maggie xo

 

What’s Love Got to do With It

“If he really loved me he would have stayed.”

“If she really loved me she would change.”broken-heart

“He said he loved me why did he hurt me?”

“She said she would always have my back why did she end up stabbing it?”

Ever asked yourself any of these questions? Some of them? All of them? I think at some point we all have been in a place of confusion and/or hurt due to this thing called love.

With certain people in our lives the love comes with expectations, and guarantees. Isn’t it funny how we tend to cut our friends and family a little more slack with the expectations and guarantees?

The guarantee they will never leave. The guarantee they will never truly hurt our feelings. The expectation they will always remain faithful. The guarantee that no matter what they will stick around to work things out. The expectation that they will never tragically let us down.

Most of the time, love has nothing to do with these unfortunate experiences.

It really can not be, about you.

The thing is,

It is not usually the love that betrays you-it is the person or belief in a guarantee made by them, or one you made up in your mind.

The only thing that love guarantees is…an experience.

With that said my point is, love. Always love. Live love, be love, and be brave in love. Because those times you feel like love let you down are the very times I write of. Remember, it is not usually the love that lets you down, and you miss out on so much when you hold on to things that have nothing to do with the purest form of the way you love others.

So what’s love got to do with it?

Sometimes everything, and other times…nothing at all.

Maggie xo

Moving Forward

I like it when I positively surprise myself. Don’t you?

 At times when we least expect it and are able to just flow…it can be amazing what comes out of being our authentic selves. One day a friend of mine did a video on moving forward in relationships, and I decided to email her my thoughts. When I wrote her I was in that exact place of flow. I was not worried if what I was writing was perfect. I was free typing from a connected place of experience. It all just came to me and through me.

I ended up really liking it. Liking it so much I decided this piece was meant to be shared.

She was so kind to give this short but personally meaningful statement back to me, and I have to say without her prompting I would have not had this post to share with you. Sometimes it can be very clear from the jump why certain people pop up into your life!

So here it is. A Calla gal’s thoughts on moving forward.

For me, moving forward does not mean taking a giant leap to that place you so long to be-which with a broken relationship of any kind means being at a place of peace. That place where you can look back without any tears, you can appreciate what you have in the present, and smile when you think about the great things that are yet to come. Moving forward takes day to day, even at times moment to moment efforts, but they pay off for the big picture. I can say this from experience. My greatest peace came from the day to day self-care, and allowing myself to accept that moving forward meant moving through. Moving through the hurt, the anxiety, the wonder…but what I also discovered along the way was with that came moving through positives…such as moving through doors that needed to be shut, moving into new possibilities, and new found strengths.

Magdelena xo
Below is the Moving Forward video from my friend Tamika Dunn of Traces of My Lipgloss. You can find her on Facebook and Twitter. Another encouraging and empowering Calla gal!