Sometimes sharing something with someone is just about that.
Simply sharing your thoughts, and your feelings.
Processing things on your own with a supporting sounding board.
And here is why this is so important on both ends, as the processor, and the listener:
Our highest parts can get muffled by the day to day we dive into mentally. Creating the space and time to truly listen to these higher parts is an amazing act of self-care that fills your cup. A cup you can then savor with its richness, and share with others.
And as a sounding board, you are simply providing an amazing act of generosity.
Accepting who you are and what your heart desires is essential to healthy personal growth. You are on this planet one time, and will best serve it listening to the highest parts of you.
The parts that bring you the things your soul is drawn to; your way, and in your time.
Contact me to discuss how I can support You with
Cultivating a more Empowered path through accessing Your own Points of Peace!
I would like to share about a walk I went on recently in a city that lies on top of an engineered landfill. The homes all look the same, and there is generic shopping center after shopping center.
In other words, the general scenery is more bland than iceberg lettuce.
But the sweet job I landed in this city is worth the eye boredom.
I have to cross a bridge in order to get home. On this particular day traffic was still high after work, and there was no way I was going to sit idle on a bridge in earthquake friendly California. So I drove with intuition around the neighborhood I worked in, pulled over, and started walking.
I came across a trail by more bland homes, and ended up walking on a path parallel to a small body of water.
Then things shifted as I paid attention.
And here is a little bit of what I captured.
It ended up being a really nice walk! I had some good music on the headphones, embraced the chilly weather, and searched for pretty plants.
As you can see, I was able to find them.
It reminded me of life-we are not always in the midst of blatant beauty. It is not always right there in our face and for the most part, most of us don’t really pause to capture it in our day to day lives.
But it IS there, and it is only when we begin to set the intent to find it that things will start to step forward to us. Maybe a really bright gorgeous piece of fruit at the grocery store that also smells delicious. A passing moment when you walk by a stranger, and there is a brief exchange of smiles.
Think about it. What are the little things that you find beautiful? The things that give you the feels? I actually have some of those things written on a memo in my phone to bring me joy. I also jot down moments of unexpected enchantment to remind me that there is still the little girl in me whose soul likes to be fed.
More importantly, there is the adult that I am, who needs to be fed.
It is important to find some beauty amidst the bland.
This is another way to access your point of peace.
Contact me today to receive support with accessing your personal point of peace!
When life gives you lemons
And that is Okay.
Sometimes there is a lesson,
and sometimes things just happen.
It doesn’t always have to make sense, love.
It’s okay not to search for the why.
And it’s okay to sit with the why me for a bit.
It is okay to be pissed off, and sad.
to Feel It.
I like my cocktails,
but when life gives me lemons I can’t turn to them much.
When life gives you lemons
You can toss them.
You don’t have to use them!
Maybe hold them for a moment; give them a feel.
They were given to you.
When life gives you lemons,
Eat your chips with chopsticks.
Are you in beautiful Bay Area? Interested in connecting with other women who believe in the power of self-care, and how to make the most (or nothing) out of life’s lemons?
Join us on Earth Day this year to give yourself some love and support!
I am writing this on a whim…my Black Fridays entail steering clear of any place that advertises this happening.
I just came across a YouTube video from a man named Ralph Smart. He was quite entertaining to watch, and dives pretty deep while keeping the spirit lifted.
It’s a pleasant combination.
As a single person I found this empowering, and also thought, what a great check-in for those in relationships, who like myself, are always trying to dig just a little bit deeper…
Stay Single until You find Someone:
We need these men to more boldly step forward.
I don’t spend much time looking around for advice about being single because it all tends to be the same, and in my 30s it’s unfortunate that for the most part, advice is based off of trying to help me reach some end point of ultimate happiness. I very much appreciated this video, and just had to share.
To the ones who are happily single-you can continue to be truly happy and still desire to connect with someone! And, to the ones who are not-from personal experience, you won’t be able to genuinely connect with someone, until you can truly be happy.
I recently started a new gig hanging out with a young woman who has special needs. She was tough to read when I was interviewed with her, but mom told me that because she didn’t just get up and go to her room, I impressed her. Ahh, got it! From that point I started to visit her once a week for a little fun socializing. We shoot hoops in the backyard, play games, and cook. I am really enjoying it.
Today as we were side by side prepping to cook delicious shrimp quesadillas there was this moment. It was this beautiful quiet that can happen when you are fully present with cooking. If you love to cook, you know this moment well.
We were having it.
A few minutes in I hear a giggle, and feel a light touch on the small of my back:
“I like you.”
Let’s stop for a moment here. Think about this. How often do we tell people we like them when we like them? How often do we say “I love you” when we feel it? Not “love ya,” but the entire thing.
I. Love. You.
I. Like. You.
I think it is because it puts us in a fairly vulnerable state to say these words out loud. We feel so yummy inside, and it’s our feeling, but caused by someone else. We don’t say it much because as simple as these words are, they carry so much meaning. And just as my friend had to let out her giggle right before she touched me, statements such as these almost always bring a visceral reaction, right before we say them.
I have learned in my recent years to step into this type of vulnerability over and over again. I say I like you when I like you. I tell you are awesome if you are awesome. If you amaze me, well, take that to heart because I am not the easiest person to impress, ha! And if you asked any of my family or friends if I love them, they without hesitation, would say yes.
Because as much as I try to show them, I tell them too.
Back to this endearing moment.
“I like you.”
Oh! and awe. This feels nice to hear.
And for that moment, I could see myself through her eyes. She just liked the fact, that I was me. How cool is that.
And how bravely sweet of her, to tell me exactly what she was feeling.
Most of the time I don’t know what the hell I am doing. I plan on certain things happening-eating, sleeping(at some point), work, and bills. Most everything else, I navigate day to day, gut feeling by gut feeling.
I kinda just do as I go, and go as I do.
I love it.
I love it because I used to plan a lot in the past.
I had a plan for every possible negative outcome that could happen when it came to my health, relationships, and any natural talents I possessed.
You see, all the planning I was doing essentially stemmed from fear. Sketched out by my insecurities, outlined by my worries, and essayed by my anxiety.
I didn’t realize how much this way of thinking contributed to my habit of self-sabotage until I saw a therapist.
Which is a whole different blog post I might get to in the future.
Back to the planning thing. Planning is not all negative. Planning can be really great, and imperative for certain situations. The planning I was consistently doing was not healthy. Over the years I learned, and am learning, what kind of planner I am, what kind of planner I want to be, and what kind of planner I don’t want to be.
These are three things I believe we should not hold off on for the perfect plan.
The weather, people, and creative ideas.
Waiting for the perfect sunshine weather to take a walk along that beach you love? First of all, be grateful you live close enough to a beach to do that because I am very jealous right now, and second, put on a hoodie…go for that walk. Waiting for the perfect person to sweep you off your feet? Sweep yourself off your feet, and your vision of this desired person will become less narrow, thus opening your eyes to greater possibilities.
Have an idea that charges up your creative mojo, lights up your mind, and ignites your soul? Don’t wait to talk to someone you think has it all together to help you perfectly lay things out. Don’t wait until you’ve sorted through all your notes, sketches, or recordings. Pluck one thing from the beautiful mess of a potentially amazing idea, and do something with it.
Because if you wait until some perfect sign, person, or plan comes around you are not really doing much more than waiting, are you not?
You gotta do at least one thing with your something in order to figure out if this something, is even…something!
And who knows? This one thing from this something could be the key to discovering if it is even anything.
It could be something.
It could be nothing.
It could be everything.
I know lately you might be looking around at what is going in our world and feel a number of things…and I understand. I feel it too. I am not all of these things all of the time, but I am all of these at different points in time.
It is so important to try to hone in the weight of super heavy emotions, and do what needs to be done to lift them off. With everything that we are it can feel so tough, but we are not the ones experiencing the toughest. There are people suffering in real time, right now, and for those of us who feel it yes, it is a legitimate feeling. But if you are reading this, you are also mostly safe right now. The tears are being shed in the safety of our homes, apartment, office, and cars.
Go ahead and feel it, but please don’t forget this:
1) You have the power to take action with the things you feel are wrong with this world. You have a voice, you have social media, maybe a little extra income, or some extra time.
2) Your getting back to that calmer place inside of you, your point of peace, WILL make a difference in the world.
As you step outside into daily life, going to the office, getting groceries, or taking your kids to the park…your peace could very well become the one refreshing, or comforting thing to someone you cross paths with. Think about how caring for yourself has a ripple effect on the every day interactions you have with other people who could very well be challenged just the way you have been.
This is how you make a difference.
I have a student at my work who is a little negative Nancy. She never seems entirely happy from moment to moment, nor easily satisfied. For example, one day we were coloring during free time, and she mentioned wanting to have her old teacher back. I asked what did she like about her that made her want be back in her class? She replied “Well she let me draw and color during free time.”
A few days ago it ended up being just us two girls and a handful of boys in program. For first period they all wanted to play basketball. Normally I play with them (grandma shots and all), but of course, my negative Nancy was unhappy that we all wanted to do something physically active…during physical activity time. She slumped onto a bench nearby and crossed her arms. I decided to see if I could help shift her mood.
“Have you ever played M.A.S.H.?”
I took out some paper from my work binder and gave her first turn. She chose potential jobs, number of children, pets, and “types” of future husbands. When it was time to count off she declared that picking a type of husband was the hardest part.
I might have to agree with her on that one.
When we finished the first round she was appalled at the job she landed. “Whyyyy did I get THAT job?!” Imitating her signature whiny tone I answered.
“Becaaaause, you CHOSE that job!”
Then, it was my turn.
Now this is where it got kind of cool. My girl initially picked some pretty mediocre shit. She had never played the game, and was understandably unfamiliar with how to fully engage it. So as my turns went on, and I had named a horse as one of my pets, “a wild warrior” as a potential husband, and one of my jobs getting paid to travel it started to sink in for her.
There were no limits.
What were her dreams like at this age?
We played back and forth for the entire period. By the time we got to her last turn she was clapping in delight, as she landed an “artistic guy,” a pet dragon, zero kids, and a job as an artist. When I asked if she thought these things could come true she shrugged, but then mentioned with a slight smile, “But it’s what I WANT.”
Later that night I thought about our time together and how my turns went. The initial ones were more in the area of magical outcomes, more silly to reflect the lightness of the game to my Nancy, but also with a hint of truth to which I would not share with even the closest of friends. Sometimes children keep the best secrets. One turn midway I realized was what I thought I wanted, and the very last turn ended up being most of things I currently, really wanted.
Well, maybe I can’t have a pet wolf.
But perhaps one day I will have the opportunity to pet one.
Happy New Year to everyone…happy looking forward, moving further forward, and being more forward in 2017. I won’t take any time to reflect on 2016, because here we are, right now, right in the middle of January, and this is where we will stay as you read! Thanks by the way, for reading. You are awesome. You could actually be amazing if you sign up to follow my blog. Go up. And right. There ya go.
I would like to share my experience connecting with nature on a daily basis and how it has helped me make wiser decisions in my life. Simple answer-nature makes me pause.
When I pause I take a mindful moment, and when I take a mindful moment I listen. I listen to my gut. For some their “gut” might be simple logic, others perhaps a god, or for some like myself, may find their gut to be a combination of inner knowing, and gentle outer guidance from various divine sources.
Here is my version of connecting the elements of nature with our senses, and how this combined with a little self-care can be applied into our every day lives.
Earth=See=Pull up pictures of family or friends. Take a moment to reflect on good memories and looking forward to the next time you will see them. Find a piece of jewelry, an valued object or go outside and pick a flower you like. Look at it and see what about it is enjoyable from your own personal view.
Air=Hear=Make a music playlist labeled “now.” Play it when you feel stressed or you need to take time out. Pick songs that make you happy. Go outside for a sec. Listen to the wind. Listen to the neighbor’s kids playing. Or even the sound of the brakes on the bus.
Fire=Smell=Sweetgrass is my favorite smell in the whole entire world. It is invigorating and brings back memories of rolling on lush hills at the park with my father. Find a smell that makes you feel invigorated, or/and brings back a fond memory. Have it handy in your home or even in a purse, or a work bag. Give it a whiff as needed, or desired.
Water=Taste=Buy a water drinking device that you are excited about. I am not kidding. Whether it’s a silly mug at home, a large cup, or one of those fancy BPA free non-GMO gluten-free bottles find one you think is awesome. How do you like your water? Figure it out. I personally love mine with lots of ice first thing in the morning. Drink more water. Drink more water.
Feel=to be all four: You are a part of this Earth, parts of you are made from it. How will you take care of yourself knowing that this will reflect on our planet? You are Air with every breath you take and every word that comes out of your mouth. How will you enrich your experiences with the air of your words? You are Fire every time you feel complete love, passion, or even upset with something. How will you use that fire to create change in your life, and the lives of others? You are Water when you go with the flow and find peace with the waves of change. How will you nourish yourself enough to hold on to that center that is the catalyst for maintaining a healthy flow, and peaceful feeling?
It is my strong belief that nature is a simple, and hola…generally FREE way to have a healthy mind and heart. We go out to work every day and don’t listen to the birds, but we for damn sure hear them chirping when it’s 6:30am on a Saturday and we want to sleep in, right? Try listening when you leave for work. Take…one, two, three seconds. Count to 3 and listen. See how you feel when you go from there.
Go ahead and try some of these things sometime. Any time.
P.s. Thanks Mother E for your collaboration!