The Some of Everything

Hey Humans,

Most of the time I don’t know what the hell I am doing.  I plan on certain things happening-eating, sleeping(at some point), work, and bills. Most everything else, I navigate day to day, gut feeling by gut feeling.

I kinda just do as I go, and go as I do.

I love it.

I love it because I used to plan a lot in the past.

I had a plan for every possible negative outcome that could happen when it came to my health, relationships, and any natural talents I possessed.

You see, all the planning I was doing essentially stemmed from fear. Sketched out by my insecurities, outlined by my worries, and essayed by my anxiety.

I didn’t realize how much this way of thinking contributed to my habit of self-sabotage until I saw a therapist.

Which is a whole different blog post I might get to in the future.

Back to the planning thing. Planning is not all negative. Planning can be really great, and imperative for certain situations. The planning I was consistently doing was not healthy. Over the years I learned, and am learning, what kind of planner I am, what kind of planner I want to be, and what kind of planner I don’t want to be.

These are three things I believe we should not hold off on for the perfect plan.

The weather, people, and creative ideas.

Waiting for the perfect sunshine weather to take a walk along that beach you love? First of all, be grateful you live close enough to a beach to do that because I am very jealous right now, and second, put on a hoodie…go for that walk. Waiting for the perfect person to sweep you off your feet? Sweep yourself off your feet, and your vision of this desired person will become less narrow, thus opening your eyes to greater possibilities.

Have an idea that charges up your creative mojo, lights up your mind, and ignites your soul? Don’t wait to talk to someone you think has it all together to help you perfectly lay things out. Don’t wait until you’ve sorted through all your notes, sketches, or recordings. Pluck one thing from the beautiful mess of a potentially amazing idea, and do something with it.

Because if you wait until some perfect sign, person, or plan comes around you are not really doing much more than waiting, are you not?

You gotta do at least one thing with your something in order to figure out if this something, is even…something!

And who knows? This one thing from this something could be the key to discovering if it is even anything.

It could be something.

It could be nothing.

It could be everything.

calla

Maggie xo

 

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Anything, But

I mostly feed my soul with this blog, but for today, this post is not for me.

This is for the friend. The friend who wrote me that she is hurting because she feels like she does not know who she is anymore. She says the world took that away from her. She does not like herself when she looks in the mirror. She does not love herself.

“What do you think Maggie?” she asked me.

“What do you say about yourself?”

About myself?

Instantaneously I am compelled to answer that

I am grateful.

Bottom line.

Then I add….

I really like myself. Actually, I love myself. I am keenly aware of the things that make up who I am that I would not change, because then I would be changing the make up of who I am.

Sometimes though…this can be rather annoying…and I think it becomes this way when you REALLY start to like yourself. Love yourself. When you don’t really like or love you-these things can simply hurt. Sometimes…

It seems the world wants you to be anything but the realrawfreewildnonconforming Iamsohappyinmyownpersonalitybubblepleasedonotfreakinpopit-YOU.

So I try to be anything but.

What people that do not have their own best interests at heart, expect me to be.

tried
Maggie xo

Heart on My Sleeve…where it will Stay

I like Taylor Swift. She makes me happy and also sits with me on some sadness I have experienced in past relationships. She reminds of my niece and I have fun singing to her in the car. Okay I love her.

I like the movie Enchanted. The song at the end that Carrie Underwood sings about “ever ever afterrrr?” Love. Yea I love this movie.

I sometimes YouTube Jim and Pam’s wedding just for a smile.

I check in with an ex a few times a year just to remind myself that some connections can still warm my heart-even if it didn’t work out.

I get pedicures with another who is now a great friend and still makes me laugh harder than most people I know. (Yup, pedis)

I forgive.

I let go.

Keep smiling.

Hoping;

Believing.

Looking forward, and

Loving.

Knowing

That as much as life has given me reasons to tuck it away (because let’s face it sometimes love just SUCKS right?) my heart will always remain on my sleeve, and that in keeping it there, it is a courageous way of loving myself, too.

Maggie xo

Take 5

blog

This is one of those posts that  gives you AWESOME advice.

I know because I have taken this advice and put it into action most days (not too hard to do so I can’t complain). However, the advice and ideas shared are really geared towards the mothers, the career women, and the women who wear many (many) hats. If you’re a busy woman, Take 5, and keep reading…

Taking 5 or more minutes a day to be with yourself is an essential tool to maintaining a healthy state of mind. Not just when you are stressed, annoyed with the family, or busy at work. It is important to Take 5 when the day runs smoothly, when you’re busy but handling things okay, and when you DO have some down time. Sometimes when we have  a moment to spare we fill it up with something else to do. Which is fine sometimes, but other  times…you need to Take that 5.

To dig a bit deeper-sometimes it’s good to put down the phone and take a break doing something else. Whaaaa?? I know-it’s hard because we play candy crush for 10 minutes or check Instagram as a way to check out. Again, not too shabby of a break, but expanding our ideas beyond the normal things we grab to zone out is healthy for us. So below are a few ideas from yours truly; followed by responses from a few more women walking in your shoes.

Take 5

~Look up an article on something you are interested in or about something you have wanted to try i.e. a new yoga class.

~Stretch. Sit down and set the timer for 5 minutes of stretching. Guess what? If you do this often you’ll become more flexible AND learn how to be more present!

~Make a healthy snack plate. Often we just mindlessly grab from the pantry or fridge without taking a minute to put something together that would be truly satiating. I enjoy a good snack plate with crackers, cheese, and fruit.

From women via Facebook and Twitter

“I use essential oils! There are quite a few proven to help mood, so sometimes if I find myself getting overly frustrated or depressed or anxious, I march into my bathroom and get a drop of one of the oils…It takes less than a minute but helps immensely!” ~Cassandra

“Watch a YouTube video of one of my fav songs.” ~Chari

“Eat something I don’t treat myself too much. I just sit and savor the sweet!” ~Mal

“I do a Zumba dance from youtube.com.” ~Marissa

“I check Facebook. Mindlessly look at other people’s lives then face my own again.” ~Krista

“Or take a shot. Just……kidding?”Pouring Tequila Shot preview image

                                                    CHEERS!

 

“Once in a while you have to take a break and visit yourself.”~Audrey Giorgi

Maggie xo

The Jack in the Box Guy Hit on Me…Happy 2015

I recently decided to welcome 2015 with open arms and kick it off by developing a healthier relationship with food.  I already had the workouts down, but with a diet that often consisted of emotionally ruled choices I decided it was time to focus on what I was eating more than what I was doing.

The following is a true story, and clearly my catalyst for change…

jack

I LOVE jalapeno poppers. Not just any, although I will eat most kinds, but my true addiction is the Jack in the Box ones. The gooey cheese, the seed-filled spiciness, and the fatty ranch to dip them is is the ultimate party for my mouth! There is a drive-through right by my house that I used to go by…a lot more than I would like to share…until one recent night on my reluctant last run for 2014.

I had decided to start off 2015 I would not go anywhere that had a drive-through. Alrighty, no jalapeno poppers from Jack for quite a while. This past week I was coming home from a friend’s house and realized this was the night. I had to drive-through one last time before I took a major break from crappy food.

I drove up and ordered the poppers. As I pulled up to pay the guy he smiled, and shyly made a suggestion on another sauce I could try with the poppers. Instantly I smiled and with foodie enthusiasm and replied “YES! I’ll try that!”                                                   Boy did he look happy.

“Well, I see you here so much I thought you might like to try something different with your jalapenos, and maybe if you like it we can try some more new food over dinner sometime?”

Wowsa.

Most men who hit on me think I am in my mid-twenties (not bragging here although it IS pretty damn cool). I knew this guy was young so my turn down was an easy “I’m too old for you and no, age is more than just a number give me my poppers so I can go home [and eat these shamefully in bed].”

Huh. Well there ya go.

Goodbye to old habits, and in with the new.

Maggie xo

Want to start your new year LESS STRESSED and MORE BLESSED?

I can help you be the change you wish to see for 2015!

callavida.org

Gratitude Something

(My apologies for the 2am publish-still getting the hang of scheduling!)

My life sucks-a red light. Really? This red light is the last straw to my bad mood and all the other crappy things going on my life. Burnt out from my job, heart is broken, I live with my parents, and have gained about ten lovely stress pounds.

This red light just validates that my whole life is in shambles, and I have nothing good going on-even in the streets.

A little dramatic, don’t you think?

Ever notice how much negative crap comes your way when all your focus is on the extra little crappy things…and that’s on top of  the crap that already exists? It’s like we manifest it, almost wish it, magnifying every little hiccup on the road just to make things worse. Well I gotta tell ya, that kind of mindset landed me in the ER thinking I was having heart attack at a perfectly healthy age of 33.

Stop trying to pinpoint and wallow in the extra bumps along the way when there is already enough crap going on your life.

This is my gratitude, or happy journal.20140920_185006 I got it at Target for $2.75. I started it on 7/30 thinking I would *try* to write down at least five things on most days. Fast forward to now and I have written in it every single day since then. I am fortunate to have plenty of time to do this, but what I also observed was that after a week or so it became something I could document a lot more quickly than when I first started it.

This tells me that the more you look for things to be grateful for the easier it will be to spot them. Some days it is something so small! Like oh yea I had jalapenos with dinner tonight, they were awesome, and I like my new nail polish. Other days it is deeper like the friendship of an awesome gal in my life, or recognizing how healthy I am both internally and externally.

It doesn’t have to look like a Pinterest project, a clothed mason jar with pretty ribbon tied around it, be a bullet point list of ten things written in a journal, or a tagged post on Facebook for everyone to see. (But if any of that works for you then you should definitely do it). It does not even have to be documented! Just take note every day, and pay attention to the not so negative, non-crap going on in your life. Imagine what that might do to your mindset.

Have a gratitude something, designed by you, for you, and open yourself up to the possibilities of noticing more POSITIVE into your life!

Maggie xo

P.s. It just came to my attention that it is World Gratitude Day-how fitting; I will be writing the word synchronicity in my journal today  🙂

30÷2/Somethings

Welcome back everyone! As you can see I am in the process of making some big changes on Callavida, and in my own life.

With that said I thought I’d share what it has been like being unemployed for the first time in almost 20 years. I have held down some kind of job since I was 15 years-old and particularly the one I just left I had for ten years. To honor my younger hopeful self I cut the list down to 15 somethings.

Thanks for stopping by!

15 Somethings of Being Unemployed

1. People need answers even if you don’t have them. “Well what EXACTLY are you going to do?” Not sure but I know I am going to look for work. “WHERE??” Out if the Bay Area. “WHY??” and the questions continue…

2. It felt weird at first. Still connected to the old job, but cognitive of the fact I was not returning.

3. My last day was on a Friday. So waking up with nothing to do that first Monday felt…well it felt like this:

kids-boy-004
Weeee!

4. There are no more weekends. Every day is Friday and you start to forget when exactly the real Friday is…

5. I feel guilty going out-even though I have money saved to get by for a bit every time I go out I realize that money is not being replenished.

6. Because of number #1 I sometimes lie about my plans so the incessant questions will cease. It works.

7. After about a week of no work I started to feel super weird. That weirdness turned into panic. Aaaand this is the week I applied for 100 jobs most of which I wouldn’t have applied for had I been in a more sound state of mind. But you settle in a state of panic.

8. There are bursts of excitement-emotional outbursts of joy thinking about the possibilities. The world is my oyster!

9. There are also bursts of The thought of a new person was scary

10. You make big plans to exercise daily and read that book that’s been a part of your bed set for the last 3 months. You are going to hit the beach. Visit a friend who lives far away (but not so far you have to buy a plane ticket).

11. In reality those big plans happen tomorrow. Because until I land a job there’s always tomorrow!

12. I am sad at times and have to just let it sit with me. This one is kind of a head scratcher but I am a big believer in allowing things to sit without question when you don’t have the answer immediately.

13. I eat weird things at weird hours. For example nutella and a Hawaiian king roll at 10:30pm. For dinner.

14. I actually can be very busy most days because I am ambitious and make lists. Furthermore, these days filling out a job application online is pretty much the first interview, and takes…a very, very long time…

Lastly,

15. No matter what somethings come in and out of my daily unemployed life I am generally certain I will be just fine.

moving-forwardMagdelena xo

P.s. Just realized you can do the math on my age…knock yourself out! =)

The Take Away

I am a pretty positive person.

worth

I meditate. I forgive. I move forward. I try to grow from the unfortunate events that pop up in my life. I spend time surrounding myself with the things in life that keep my spirits hopeful. I try to keep away from negative people as much as I can. I read The Oprah Magazine (that’s kind of a joke even though I do!). I enjoy pictures with inspiring quotes, and empowering affirmations.

But I just can’t bite into this phrase…

“Everything happens for a reason.

For those of you who embrace this phrase and find it comforting please bare with me as I am not trying to squash your belief. I just have a tweak to it.

By self-proclamation I have stated I am a very positive person. Part of that is because I know what the pits of negativity feels like. I know that living in a generally negative state of mind not only impedes my personal growth, it affects my relationships, and how far I make it in life. I know that finding the good in people and situations is a healthier way to live. However, I also know sometimes not finding one or the other in life’s occurrences is okay. Because for some things-the experience itself is enough without a reason to solidify it; to get lost in the negative of it, or work to find the positive. For some situations I simply like to have a take away.

When my sister was going through chemo I remained pretty peaceful. I went into work and did my job. I kept in touch with my friends to let them know how things were. No searching for the answer to why this was happening to such a good person or placing blame on my God for her sickness. Life kept going so I adjusted and went with it. During that time my appreciation for my sister was even further solidified. It became clear when I was staying calm, and taking care of myself it also helped make the most of the time I was with her. By simply getting through this time I experienced growth in my way of handling a scary, and potentially devastating situation. This of course was a positive thing, but it was also organic. It came from just being what I needed to be during this time.

A take away is something you can learn or face from a situation without the added search for a reason. Sometimes the growth isn’t in finding the reason-it is in simply getting through the situation in a way that serves you in the healthiest manner. Sometimes, abandoning reason leaves more space to learn, to grow, and to take away something helpful that contributes to your personal growth.

Instead of why, try asking, what.

“My point is, shit happens. Randomly. But here’s an amazing human capacity: We can use virtually any experience as a catalyst for hopelessness or growth…Each of these positions in equally untestable. So we get to choose.”

                ~Martha Beck: “Reversal of Bad Fortune”

Magdelena xo

Saturday

My first thought when I woke up this morning was “I haven’t thought about anything to write for the Sunday blog post!” My brain has been a little mushed because this was my last week of work. No “See you in August,” or “Is this your last year?” This was it, and with that goodbyes were in order all week long. My mind has been consumed with memories over the last ten years with both my coworkers, and the students that have come through. I thought to myself to be kind, and if nothing came to me just skip this week and something epic will certainly come up for the following Sunday.

As I lay in bed-relieved from that thought, I finally gave myself a moment to really pause. I let it sink in that I was no longer an employee with a place that I linked a major part of my identity to. Reflecting on what exactly I would miss nothing momentous came to mind, but after a few minutes I realized why. I jumped out of bed straight to the computer, and wrote this in one sitting. It actually goes back to the very first post I made when I started this blog. Which I find compelling; because once again I have no idea what I am doing, but am continuing to move forward.

It was all the small things.

 It was the quick interactions and brief encounters. Like being able to run to my coworker’s house on break after one quick text because my pants had ripped in the back and I was unknowingly flashing our students. It was the five extra minutes another aide would give me to go down and grab a coffee in the staff room before they ran out. Being able to pee during lunch duty because another coworker was watching her students and would gladly keep an eye on mine. Given space first thing by the teacher to decompress because she knew I was going through a rough time, and crying every morning on the way to work.

It was the words of encouragement in passing from one of our speech pathologists when I was trying to lose a bunch of weight. The students who screamed, “HI MS. M!!!” waving in excitement from afar. The teacher who offered to let me lead her class in a lesson and she would watch my student because she knew I needed a break. The parent who replied “Ahhh of course, always helping others Ms. M,” when I told him I wanted to be a life coach.

Sometimes in life, all the small things add up to being one enormous, important, positive, and necessary big thing. It is the combination of being yourself, and going the extra something. Going the extra moment to compliment the cashier’s hairstyle when it’s all she has because she wears a uniform, the extra mile to drive your friend home who had one too many, extending a smile to a stranger in passing without expectation, or that oh so important extra minute of coverage for a coworker so they can pee.

I would like to leave you with this thought. As much as we might embrace the small things others do for us, and as much as we might do little things for the ones we love…what about you? What if you did small things for yourself? What if you looked in the mirror for a moment and smiled? Took a walk around the block because the sun was shining and you wanted to feel it on your face? Or took out a few minutes while the kids played to call a friend that always makes you laugh, and leaves you in a better mood?

What if everyday you did just one, small positive thing, for you?

Imagine what that might add up to.

I woke up this Saturday morning thinking I had nothing for Callavida this week, and while lying in bed I paused to tell myself that was okay. Look what came out of that one small, comforting thought.

smallthings

Magdelena xo

*Dedicated to my Foothill Family. All the small memories will keep our hearts connected.

30/Somethings

Back with another great list to share! This month is for May/June and are some things in life that make us smile. If you like visual reminders make a list of your own things that make you smile. Can’t think of too many? Borrow from this list!

30 Things that Make Us Smile =)

1. When you hear a song you love in the car. And it just started.

2. Pictures of cute animals. Especially when there is more than one species mixed in.

cat-and-dog-cuddling-hd-animal-wallpaper
I mean..!

3. When someone you adore says “I love you.”

4. When you’re in the fitting room and something you try on fits…the first time.

5. Waking up and remembering you don’t have anything pressing that day. Go ahead and stay in your pj’s for a while.

6. When you realize you finally let go of something or someone that was not good for you.

7. Giving someone a gift they were not expecting.

8. Receiving a gift you were not expecting.

9. When someone tells you you look nice and prior to that, you didn’t feel like you did.

10. “Nailed it”-you knitted a scarf and it looks like one. You baked a cake and it didn’t fall apart. You went in for an interview and rocked it.

nf_wine_0131liv
Throw in some wine…

11. When someone says out loud what you are thinking. Mind melting!

12. Sweet messy kisses and hugs from children.

13. Cheese and Chocolate. Pick one, or have both!

14. When someone says thank you in a genuine way, and you can truly feel their gratitude.

From followers via Facebook and Twitter:

15. “Seeing my friends or family smile (smiles are contagious!).”

16. “Macaroni and cheese burritos.”

17. “Beach and corona light!!”

18. “Getting your butt smacked lol”

19. “Seeing my kids copy exactly what I do.”

20. “The smell on the earth after it rains.”

21. “That first sip of coffee in the morning.”

22. “With my honey drinking a rita on the rocks watching old Eddie Murphy stand up.”

23. “PAY DAY.”

24. “Before anyone else is up, I go outside with my dog and listen to the quiet of the city and the birds chirping.”

25. “Hanging with my family.”

26. “Seeing my son smile/laugh. I can’t not smile back!”

27. “When I get to the cash register and something I am buying is on sale!”

28. “This morning, I was overhearing a conversation between two 3 yr-old girls.
Girl 1: “Wanna play with me?!”
Girl:”Of course!” 
Imagine that convo with as much enthusiasm as possible!”

29.”Food.”

Reply to #29

30. “I change ALL my answers to food. I love food!”

i-just-like-to-smile-smilings-my-favorite

Magdelena xo