You are so deserving of self-love, overall health, and internal balance. Part of maintaining a life like this is remembering to check in even when beautiful momentum hits. Because as important as it is to enjoy the ride of beautiful momentum we sometimes end up exhausted from it. We wonder why, only to look down and realize we are riding with both hands holding on, too tightly clenched.
This is the point where we need to figure out how to stay on the ride while letting go just enough to relax our grip on things, in order to stay fully connected with the beauty.
For myself, beautiful momentum is hitting me through my work as a Reiki practitioner.
I could not be more grateful! As I sit here writing this to you, I am filled with loving thoughts of the people I have been able to support thus far.
I am also filled with a fiery type feeling with thoughts of the work that is still to come.
I have been thinking about what would be the best way to continue this work, and to grow it, while loosening my grip just enough to stay present with the momentum. How can I support others 100% if I am not continuously supporting myself, doing this work?
So here I am, sharing my thoughts with you, and with great excitement presenting an updated version of my services!
Thank you so much for your support! I look forward to this updated chapter!
Please forward this post to anyone you feel might benefit from support through Reiki.
We love hard, we feel bravely, and are so good at creating structure out of chaos.
I was very much reminded of all of this today.
We are beautiful.
I would like to share a piece I wrote recently published by Kim Baker Gomez.
A beautiful friend with a beautiful heart.
I hope that it reminds you, that you are beautiful too.
Las Lineas-the Lines
They tell you I have laughed more often than the average person.
They show you I have cried perhaps just the same.
They reveal the lineage of my brown skin and the resulting adaptability that lineage provides; keeping me looking younger than I actually am.
They do not fully reveal all those unwashed nights on the pillow, the lack of water, and sometimes excessive partying.
With that said, they fully reveal grace.
Las lineas. The lines. They speak for me in ways I can no longer recall for myself.
How can something so special, and unique to each of us, not be embraced?
But I have never viewed them as my enemy, and just as the lines on the palms of my hands have a path to reveal and a story to tell, they do too.
In my mind when I look in the mirror I see las lineas as love specific to the way I express it. Openly, clumsily at times, but never afraid to get up from the fall.
I simply do not see them as outward connectors to the negatives we are bombarded with about aging. I view them as positively beautiful connectors into the windows of my soul.
I look in the mirror and see the lines reaching into the corner of my eyes….so thin, and not quite noticeable at first glance of my face. Yet at the same time, my lines are so very much earned, and so very much filled with the strength of my experiences over the 37 years I have been on this planet.
When life gives you lemons
And that is Okay.
Sometimes there is a lesson,
and sometimes things just happen.
It doesn’t always have to make sense, love.
It’s okay not to search for the why.
And it’s okay to sit with the why me for a bit.
It is okay to be pissed off, and sad.
to Feel It.
I like my cocktails,
but when life gives me lemons I can’t turn to them much.
When life gives you lemons
You can toss them.
You don’t have to use them!
Maybe hold them for a moment; give them a feel.
They were given to you.
When life gives you lemons,
Eat your chips with chopsticks.
Are you in beautiful Bay Area? Interested in connecting with other women who believe in the power of self-care, and how to make the most (or nothing) out of life’s lemons?
Join us on Earth Day this year to give yourself some love and support!
Who you are and where you are are two different things.
What we believe about ourselves, and the core of who we are does not change just because our surroundings and life might. How comforting is that?
For me, it is very comforting.
The times I choose to remember that.
You see, it can become a mental habit to equate ourselves to where we are externally in life. If we have a job we don’t love or make less than we desire it is easy to think we might not be worth finding something better. If you are in your 30s+ and single, there are people who will always be confused as shit by this, or if you are in a relationship but choose not to get married there are people who will always be uncomfortable as shit by this. Married? Where is the kid? Kid? You just want one?
Here comes that shit again.
Embrace everything YOUR soul desires. It is not anyone else’s to do so!
And just as you are-you are simply you, and you are just fine.
The major parts of your heart, character, and natural gifts cannot be shaken when life moves you. In any direction, good or not so good. Even finding that exciting job that makes you happy to get up in the morning, and the compensation to match, or finding that person who gives you all the butterflies will not change that.
It adds to the you you already are, but it does not change it.
Finding your POP, your point of peace, is all about grounding into this part of yourself that cannot be shaken when life moves you.
Because here is what happens when you do not learn ways to come back to yourself.
You will generally witness yourself in the midst of two moods:
In an extremely positive mood, or in an extremely negative one.
This is not a healthy way to live, but many of us do it because we have not learned to gently hold and care for our core. We give it to our circumstances, mostly being other people, and allow it to be shaped.
So how do we exercise this form of self-preservation?
IT TAKES WORK.
You need to continuously work on accessing your POP!
Here are a few ways to get started:
1) Know Thyself-if you are aware of your strengths and weaknesses you can share your strengths with others while working on your challenges.
2) Compete with yourself-stop comparing yourself to other people in your life and set goals that reflect where you are and where you want to be. You are your own worst critic right? So why not be your own best cheerleader too?
3) Accept your feelings-what? I always accept my feelings! You might, but guess what else you do? You run with them, parade them around and magnify them! Stop taking one moment of frustration and turning it into a “bad day.” Accepting how you feel is actually a great first step to letting go of feelings and thoughts that are no longer serving you.
If you hold on to the core of who you are, and care for it, everything that stems from it will be authentic, organic, strong as hell, and true.
No matter where you are.
I recently started a new gig hanging out with a young woman who has special needs. She was tough to read when I was interviewed with her, but mom told me that because she didn’t just get up and go to her room, I impressed her. Ahh, got it! From that point I started to visit her once a week for a little fun socializing. We shoot hoops in the backyard, play games, and cook. I am really enjoying it.
Today as we were side by side prepping to cook delicious shrimp quesadillas there was this moment. It was this beautiful quiet that can happen when you are fully present with cooking. If you love to cook, you know this moment well.
We were having it.
A few minutes in I hear a giggle, and feel a light touch on the small of my back:
“I like you.”
Let’s stop for a moment here. Think about this. How often do we tell people we like them when we like them? How often do we say “I love you” when we feel it? Not “love ya,” but the entire thing.
I. Love. You.
I. Like. You.
I think it is because it puts us in a fairly vulnerable state to say these words out loud. We feel so yummy inside, and it’s our feeling, but caused by someone else. We don’t say it much because as simple as these words are, they carry so much meaning. And just as my friend had to let out her giggle right before she touched me, statements such as these almost always bring a visceral reaction, right before we say them.
I have learned in my recent years to step into this type of vulnerability over and over again. I say I like you when I like you. I tell you are awesome if you are awesome. If you amaze me, well, take that to heart because I am not the easiest person to impress, ha! And if you asked any of my family or friends if I love them, they without hesitation, would say yes.
Because as much as I try to show them, I tell them too.
Back to this endearing moment.
“I like you.”
Oh! and awe. This feels nice to hear.
And for that moment, I could see myself through her eyes. She just liked the fact, that I was me. How cool is that.
And how bravely sweet of her, to tell me exactly what she was feeling.
(My apologies for the 2am publish-still getting the hang of scheduling!)
My life sucks-a red light. Really? This red light is the last straw to my bad mood and all the other crappy things going on my life. Burnt out from my job, heart is broken, I live with my parents, and have gained about ten lovely stress pounds.
This red light just validates that my whole life is in shambles, and I have nothing good going on-even in the streets.
A little dramatic, don’t you think?
Ever notice how much negative crap comes your way when all your focus is on the extra little crappy things…and that’s on top of the crap that already exists? It’s like we manifest it, almost wish it, magnifying every little hiccup on the road just to make things worse. Well I gotta tell ya, that kind of mindset landed me in the ER thinking I was having heart attack at a perfectly healthy age of 33.
Stop trying to pinpoint and wallow in the extra bumps along the way when there is already enough crap going on your life.
This is my gratitude, or happy journal. I got it at Target for $2.75. I started it on 7/30 thinking I would *try* to write down at least five things on most days. Fast forward to now and I have written in it every single day since then. I am fortunate to have plenty of time to do this, but what I also observed was that after a week or so it became something I could document a lot more quickly than when I first started it.
This tells me that the more you look for things to be grateful for the easier it will be to spot them. Some days it is something so small! Like oh yea I had jalapenos with dinner tonight, they were awesome, and I like my new nail polish. Other days it is deeper like the friendship of an awesome gal in my life, or recognizing how healthy I am both internally and externally.
It doesn’t have to look like a Pinterest project, a clothed mason jar with pretty ribbon tied around it, be a bullet point list of ten things written in a journal, or a tagged post on Facebook for everyone to see. (But if any of that works for you then you should definitely do it). It does not even have to be documented! Just take note every day, and pay attention to the not so negative, non-crap going on in your life. Imagine what that might do to your mindset.
Have a gratitude something, designed by you, for you, and open yourself up to the possibilities of noticing more POSITIVE into your life!
P.s. It just came to my attention that it is World Gratitude Day-how fitting; I will be writing the word synchronicity in my journal today 🙂
30 Things on Womanhood
“A girl should be two things: who and what she wants.”
― Coco Chanel
1. In the beauty department we have an endless amount of choices-painted nails or not painted, jeans or skirts, or both!
2. Our presence can be of great comfort to anyone because we wear our hearts on our sleeves; at least many of us do.
3. We live longer.
5. Girl-friendships…need I say more?
6. As difficult as it can be to reach that point of fully resonating with our worth and potential once we get there-we are unstoppable!
7. We pay less for car insurance.
8. We say what we mean and we mean what we say.
9. Becoming single is almost always a guarantee we will to improve ourselves. Both internally and externally.
10. Often we know before we know, and then when we realize we know, we are 100% certain of what we know.
11. We have doors held open for us. A small but simply sweet gesture we get to experience on hopefully many occasions.
12. We make our loved ones feel safe in a different way that stems from a place of nurture.
13. Cooking is now optional. Wear the apron or order in!
14. If you look up a woman’s love in the dictionary it SHOULD have the word “loyal” somewhere in there…
15. We are considerate, even when we don’t have to be.
From followers via Facebook and Twitter:
1. “I like our nurturing caring nature. Our ability to put our children before us.“~Jennifer
2. “I’m wary of gender stereotyping, BUT in my experience…we seem better at nurturing, putting the well-being of others first (especially family), multi-tasking, plus empathy and finding things! But in terms of nature (vs nurture), I am most grateful for my basic biology. I would have been sad to miss out on pregnancy and breast-feeding my babies.” ~Anjali
3. “I also love our ability to multi-task like a goddess, even when we are running on empty!” ~Helen
4. “A woman’s strength knows no boundaries. It is limitless in the time of need. For herself, for her family, for others.” ~Marissa
5. “Curves.” ~FB
6. “We can carry a whole other life inside of us then feed from our bosom, pretty incredible if you think about it. Maybe one day I’ll know first hand…” ~Nickie
7. “As a woman, we know without being told or understood how strong we are. Look at what we have to endure during childbirth. Even if you haven’t had kids of your own, you are still capable of immortal strength. Also the range of our compassion is boundless because we can be tough as nails or soft and pliable depending on the situation. Being a woman is the best gift I have ever been given in life because my legs looks damn good in my 4″ heels.” ~Rochelle
8. “Make up play! (being able to hide flaws if we want).” ~Krista
9. “I can wear a bunch of different hats and that is really fun! I am always me but have options on how that shows.” ~Twitter
10. “Sometimes we are judged for tears but for the most part I can cry whenever I want and it does not make me look like less of a woman!” ~May
11. “I agree with Nickie . It is pretty freakin awesome that we could grow another human being and be their main food source for 6+ months. We create life and that life depends on us to live.” ~Vanessa
12. “Boobs! Come on who doesn’t like boobs they serve so many purposes lol.” ~Twitter
13. “Women know how to get the party started. They also know how to plan and end the party.” ~Hub Pages
14. “It’s just nice to feel beautiful and we can make that happen in so many different ways.” ~Jas
15. “EVERY WOMAN…SHE IS ME, SHE’S BOLD AND STRONG, AND LOVE CREATES HER DESTINY! I AM SHE, AND SHE IS ME!” ~Christine
“Maggie: Pity Party of One” was an emotional event I was trying get out of!
The party theme? “When is it MY turn?” Comparing myself to other people who lead lives where everything is happening in a seemingly “perfect” order. The big job, that trip to another country when you find yourself, the spouse, and the babies. The invite kept popping up these past few weeks even though I had taken action with my RSVP of “HELL NO.” I was too busy doing positive things to make this event. Trying to connect with more like-minded people, making forward strides with the new coaching business, and even doing a 21-day meditation series with Oprah and Deepak Chopra.
Oprah AND Deepak? Shoulda been some kind of magic happening over here.
But even Oprah couldn’t save me from this feeling, and Deepak is always talking about growth. Even with my life at a current standstill, overall when I didn’t have a bug up to block my forward thinking it was and still is changing me everyday in really small but profound ways. I had to face it. So I changed my RSVP to “YES.”
When I showed up I allowed myself to become immersed in the party theme. I accepted the thoughts that were there, and in doing so left with a few valuable party favors:
1. Hey…hey there Mag. *You* make your goals and dreams come true. You.
2. There is no perfect order, just the general expectations of society, and as a woman in my 30s those expectations are starting to trickle into my personal life. That is normal and only means something if I make it mean something.
3. It is essential to have like-minded people in my life. Yes, challenging and unlike minds teach us, but if you find yourself surrounded by mostly these types you run the risk of fizzling out your own positive life force. That’s a self-care job.
4. Choices. Because if I were to have the opportunity to get married right now I would not. I created a goal to become a life coach and less than a year later did. My imperfect order is leading to some of the best choices I have made to date.
So what am I whining for?
I like my perfect, perfectly imperfect. Uncertain, a little daring, and full of possibilities. I know I’ll still get those feelings sometimes but don’t we all. It’s okay, just keep moving.