Sometimes sharing something with someone is just about that.
Simply sharing your thoughts, and your feelings.
Processing things on your own with a supporting sounding board.
And here is why this is so important on both ends, as the processor, and the listener:
Our highest parts can get muffled by the day to day we dive into mentally. Creating the space and time to truly listen to these higher parts is an amazing act of self-care that fills your cup. A cup you can then savor with its richness, and share with others.
And as a sounding board, you are simply providing an amazing act of generosity.
Accepting who you are and what your heart desires is essential to healthy personal growth. You are on this planet one time, and will best serve it listening to the highest parts of you.
The parts that bring you the things your soul is drawn to; your way, and in your time.
Contact me to discuss how I can support You with
Cultivating a more Empowered path through accessing Your own Points of Peace!
When life gives you lemons
And that is Okay.
Sometimes there is a lesson,
and sometimes things just happen.
It doesn’t always have to make sense, love.
It’s okay not to search for the why.
And it’s okay to sit with the why me for a bit.
It is okay to be pissed off, and sad.
to Feel It.
I like my cocktails,
but when life gives me lemons I can’t turn to them much.
When life gives you lemons
You can toss them.
You don’t have to use them!
Maybe hold them for a moment; give them a feel.
They were given to you.
When life gives you lemons,
Eat your chips with chopsticks.
Are you in beautiful Bay Area? Interested in connecting with other women who believe in the power of self-care, and how to make the most (or nothing) out of life’s lemons?
Join us on Earth Day this year to give yourself some love and support!
Most of the time I don’t know what the hell I am doing. I plan on certain things happening-eating, sleeping(at some point), work, and bills. Most everything else, I navigate day to day, gut feeling by gut feeling.
I kinda just do as I go, and go as I do.
I love it.
I love it because I used to plan a lot in the past.
I had a plan for every possible negative outcome that could happen when it came to my health, relationships, and any natural talents I possessed.
You see, all the planning I was doing essentially stemmed from fear. Sketched out by my insecurities, outlined by my worries, and essayed by my anxiety.
I didn’t realize how much this way of thinking contributed to my habit of self-sabotage until I saw a therapist.
Which is a whole different blog post I might get to in the future.
Back to the planning thing. Planning is not all negative. Planning can be really great, and imperative for certain situations. The planning I was consistently doing was not healthy. Over the years I learned, and am learning, what kind of planner I am, what kind of planner I want to be, and what kind of planner I don’t want to be.
These are three things I believe we should not hold off on for the perfect plan.
The weather, people, and creative ideas.
Waiting for the perfect sunshine weather to take a walk along that beach you love? First of all, be grateful you live close enough to a beach to do that because I am very jealous right now, and second, put on a hoodie…go for that walk. Waiting for the perfect person to sweep you off your feet? Sweep yourself off your feet, and your vision of this desired person will become less narrow, thus opening your eyes to greater possibilities.
Have an idea that charges up your creative mojo, lights up your mind, and ignites your soul? Don’t wait to talk to someone you think has it all together to help you perfectly lay things out. Don’t wait until you’ve sorted through all your notes, sketches, or recordings. Pluck one thing from the beautiful mess of a potentially amazing idea, and do something with it.
Because if you wait until some perfect sign, person, or plan comes around you are not really doing much more than waiting, are you not?
You gotta do at least one thing with your something in order to figure out if this something, is even…something!
And who knows? This one thing from this something could be the key to discovering if it is even anything.
It could be something.
It could be nothing.
It could be everything.
Here’s to my people who enjoy doing nothing when you’re supposed to be doing something, or in this instance, end up doing some things that detour you from the everything else you were supposed to do…
I made plans to write my blog post this afternoon. The morning was super productive, sweet sleep in, awesome meditation session, and start of laundry. Before I started to write I decided to watch one quick show while I had some lunch. I sit on my bed, put my food aside and start the show search. This was one of those times where my food and TV time simply had to be paired. You know when your plate is ready, but you wait until that first intro note from a show to start eating…do you know? Is it just me?
I don’t have cable so it’s all about streaming.The show would not load from one site. The same show did not have any link sources on the next one. So I tried another, and another. And, another. There were other options, but that Taurus stubborn part of me decided THIS was the show that had to be watched with my lunch. I finally gave up and decided to watch Netflix. After all, I’d already wasted a few minutes and needed to get cracking on this blog post.
Then I looked at the clock.
I had spent almost 10 minutes looking at different stream sources, and waiting for them to load. I was so eerily focused I didn’t even realize how much time had passed.
Can you guess how much attention my writing received after that show? Maybe 10 minutes. Maybe. I had suddenly decided there were all these other things I needed to do before I went into writing mode. I changed the cover photo for my birthday brunch, watched a documentary, plucked my eyebrows…you know, all the important stuff.
Now here I am…almost 10 hours later writing about this to you. So yes, it IS getting done. Writing on my blog is honestly not the most important thing in the world to me, but it is important to me.
I find it funny, and interesting how often we invest in focusing on the doing these little unimportant things when we are in the midst of wanting to do what’s important. How often we direct our energy in thought and action on things that really don’t take us to the next level, or move us forward. They just sort of keep us occupied until we’re ready to do what matters.
And yet, all those little things we do to avoid what is needed to be done can be so fun right? I loved the documentary. It was fun to lay in bed creating a cool chicken and waffles-themed cover photo for the party. My eyebrows desperately needed some TLC and I saved a little money. If I hadn’t gone squirrel on myself today I would not have written such a truly inspired post…right?
I was thinking about one of the nicest things someone said to me in 2015.
Her name was Ms. Aishu, and she was working the day I substituted at a local preschool. My shift was over during nap time, and I was slowly getting up from my seated station when I saw her walk by. I mouthed I was leaving and waved. Still walking by me she whispered goodbye, but then, back to me, I saw her pause. She slowly turned around, knelt in front of me and said,
“And by the way, you are very beautiful Ms. Maggie.”
I appreciate Ms. Aishu for the moment. She went out of her way to say something nice to me instead of just thinking it. I had only known her a few hours, and resonated with the fact that it was probably a bit weird for her; paying such a pointed compliment to someone she didn’t know. Isn’t it funny how hard that can be for of us? To simply say something kind? The reason this is one of the nicest things said to me in 2015, doesn’t have to do with her using the word beautiful, but rather everything else wrapped up in the approach and intention of her sharing this with me.
With all the little negative things that happen to us every day, and the bigger tragedies happening around the globe right now it can be so easy to close in on our own personal, protective little bubble. Problem is it usually protects all the wrong things…our ego, fears, insecurities, and genuine spirit. We use it to ignore, or over dramatize so we do not have to take responsibility for something we feel is too big or far away to even address.
Back to Ms. Aishu.
I think we should all do what she did, and say nice things to each other we wouldn’t normally go out of our way to say, to people we know might not normally hear the nice things we might be thinking.
Try it. Say some nice things, to some people this week.
I would like to share a video I made whilst on a quick Self-Retreat trip earlier this week.
Clearly my skills as a writer surpass my skills as both speaker and video editor however, my thoughts are
“Why not? Life isn’t perfect why should my video presentation be?“
Just do It.
I think my biggest take away from this trip was that it is important to love and accept myself fully. At my very core I am deserving of this, and AM this.
Love and Acceptance.
In the video I mention that I am “Thinking about the things I don’t like about myself.” Which is my way of going within, and pin pointing the things I am attached to that do not work for my highest good. If don’t like it I can change it, but I have to recognize it first.
I really do hope if anything…you the wonderful reader find yourself toying with the idea of creating your own self-retreat. You do not need a lot of money, or a super lengthy amount of time. You just need to decide that you want to do it.
Then do it.
Interested in creating your own Self-Retreat but unsure of how to make it happen?
Contact me and I will work with you on planning something within your means, and around your every day life!
I have been working on this particular blog post for about 3 weeks, and I move in 3 days. I have never relocated this far from my friends and family. I have never relocated indefinitely, and I have never relocated not know what would be in store for me with many *adultish* aspects of my life.
No job, no car, and no home of my own.
I guess that’s what makes this incredibly exciting, and scary at the same time…
3o Somethings of Saying Goodbye
1. You have mini “what if” panic attacks.
2. Time flies.
3. You start to think about the loved ones you are leaving behind, and how they can’t be replaced.
4. So you must share with your loved ones how you feel.
5. As it gets closer, each day leading up to your goodbye seems to matter just a little bit more.
6. There are some fantasies going on as the possibilities start to come up with the “hello” part after your goodbye…
7. You experience sporadic overloads of emotion.
8. You think about old friends that you have not talked to in a while,
9. and recall either why you haven’t, or look back fondly.
10. Time flies.
11. Everyone gives their opinion about the changes you are making.
12. You start to tune out opinions about the changes you are making.
13. Packing is very organized in your mind,
14. but executed in a very unorganized fashion.
15. Time. Flies…
16. To experience doubt-it’s normal for our brains to question things that take us outside our comfort zone.
17. To go through weird emotions. Just roll with them-they’ll pass if you let them through.
18. If you throw some things away that make you cringe because they have sentimental value. The sentiment will stay even if the material item does not.
19. To freak out a little.
20. If the next chapter of your life is not fully planned out.
21. That you don’t take much with you.
22. To close the door on relationships you’ve kept simply for keeping’s sake. This is your time to clear any emotional clutter as well.
23. If you need some space to adjust. Grounding yourself into a new environment is your job anyway.
24. To dream bigger than you ever have. Starting a new chapter brings the opportunity to check in with your goals.
From followers via Facebook
(Ladies you might just be my regulars on 30 Somethings!)
25. “How family & friends react.” ~Coy
26. “It’s the uncertainty of one’s decision. Did we make the right choice?“~Jodie
27. “I love the excitement of change…being pushed out of my comfort zone gives me a nervous excitement. I love new challenges and making new friends when I move to a new place! I hope to do it again soon!” ~Brigette
28. “The hardest part for me is finding “my people…”My favorite checker at the grocery store or the quirky lady that helps me at CVS, the guy at the bakery that knows my order when I walk int he door. Those are the ones I won’t keep in touch with through Facebook. They are who I truly miss…” ~Marni
29. “Bring the gifts they gave you [friends]…to share with those you meet ahead….there is so much wealth..we are giving to pass on, and so many people crave it…” ~Jayne
30. “In all those years here, you have meet so many people, some that had greatly enriched your life, while others just came and went. For those people who enriched your life, tell them how, what they taught you, maybe like laughing at yourself, or reaching farther than you wanted, what did they teach you, that you will bring to your new home and the people you met?
What was their gift, they passed on to you…..“
Ladies, you know for most of us we dread the dressing room. It is this dingy horribly-lit private place to look at your body from all angles whilst knowing half the clothes you brought in will probably not fit well, and you foresee at least two more trips back in your shopping future . You held them up at the rack, you chose the sizes you normally wear, yet when you go into that dressing room…
On this occasion I’m standing in the dressing room at Target about to try on jeans. They’re a brand I already have a few pairs of so I’m feeling hopeful. I had the size I usually wear and one size up. I decided to try on the bigger size first because I thought they’d be bigger, and that would feel good.
It didn’t. They were insanely tight! I did the standard squats to see if they’d loosen up a bit but they stayed sticking to my skin. I checked the tag to see if I misread the size, but the bigger number stared back at me.
And then I felt bad.
I peeled the jeans off and frowned over at the smaller-sized pair. I told myself to try them on anyway. Maybe if I could squeeze into them to feel the discomfort of the tightness it would motivate me to change my ways immediately. I could scold myself mentally as well while I stared in the mirror. A kind of punishing act I guess?
They fit perfectly.
I shook my head and chuckled at my reflection.
I was so amused by what happened that I immediately posted to my Facebook women’s group about my experience and the troubles of shopping for clothes. There were comments upon comments with women sharing similar points of view.
It is all those thoughts that go on in our mind when we look into the mirror, and feel confused about what we are trying on. It’s that confusion that makes us doubt, and the doubt that can turn into negative thinking.
I decided it was time to get out of there, and with another light laugh I left my negative thoughts in the dressing room.
I waved goodbye to my insecurities, and doubts. Because I understood that it was ridiculous for me to make sense of how I felt about my body based on clothes that didn’t make any sense when on my body. Made by people who may not generally come down to the dressing room, and make sense of the average female’s experience alone in there.
I decided that in the future, any decisions I came to around where to take my physical appearance would not be made in the dressing room.
And then I felt good.
It’s weird these days.
I have never been so in tune with the world around me, and the people not only in my life, but people I meet on the fly. I strive to make connections every where I go, and to spread a little bit of love. I look at things from a place inside of me that wants to become kinder and more compassionate with each day that goes by.
However, I also experience a world that shuts itself off. People tucking away emotions, experiences, and not really dealing with them.
“It is what it is,” or “I don’t have time for this.” Yet I see those same people giving energy to negative situations, experiences, and issues that clearly stem from not facing the thing we all need to do at some point, and continue to do periodically…
What is self-healing?
It can mean different things to different people, but when I entered it into our favorite information mecca *Google* this is what came up “the process of recovery (generally from psychological disturbances, trauma, etc.), motivated by and directed by the patient, guided often only by instinct. Such a process encounters mixed fortunes due to its amateur nature, although self-motivation is a major asset.”
The great thing about self-healing is it can be addressed on various scales. It does NOT have to be scheduled therapy sessions for a year, or it can.
Once you check in to what would be best for YOU-you take it from there.
In the mean time, I’d like to offer a few simple ways you can begin your path to self-healing. The following suggestions come from my own personal experiences with each one, but I highly recommend if you feel you need to take it to another level to seek professional help, spiritual guidance, or a combo of both.
I have experienced counseling, coaching, and a spiritually-based program for self-healing.
I can promise finding what you need…will get you where you want to be.
3 Ways to Begin…
1. Meditate. Get on YouTube and sit with a guided healing meditation. They can be anywhere from 10 minutes to over an hour! In fact here’s a link to get you started: Positive Magazine
2. Write. Get on your computer or use a good old-fashion pencil and paper. Write whatever comes to mind about how you currently feel and whatever follows. You will be surprised at what gets released within this safe space between your mind and fingers.
3. Walk. Walk? What? Yea. Take a walk. Listen to some relaxing music and think about how you feel. If anything comes up text yourself (you know you’ll have your phone!) when you return from your walk, or pause periodically during your walk to enter in your phone what comes up. Keep documenting your walks and see what changes over time.
It is my sincerest hope that this post helps someone out there. If you connect with this in any way or would like to add to the suggestions please comment!
And please take care.