The noise of Loved Ones,
the Quiet of a rainy day.
The noise of Loved Ones,
the Quiet of a rainy day.
Not too long ago I took a quick trip to a new beautiful state. On my last day, I decided with the limited time to drop off the rental car, take a nice long sunshine walk back to my hotel, and explore the area.
Later on in the sunshine, as my tiny feet grew tired and I got closer to the end of my little adventure, I noticed a bright green grassy knoll filled with dandelions. Alongside the short wall dividing the green grass and the bright clean sidewalk my boots paved, the perfectly cotton ball-shaped dandelions were lined up, swaying in the breeze.
It was a loud busy street, but I didn’t care. Just like I did as a little girl, wishing to “save the world,” I picked up a dandelion and made a wish. Then I picked up another one, then another, and made a few more.
As a walked away from that quiet moment I realized it left me feeling really good. I knew the wishes made could come true, and I was capable of making them happen. In that moment I also remembered, in order to do that, I had to let go of the SHOULD, and be with the IS. Meaning, if I could accept life in the present, things might go a lot more smoothly. Overall, I often struggle with fighting the now, try to leap over to points anticipated, and end up getting hurt from tripping over myself. Plus, I missed out.
Because the lessons in life are mostly in the in between.
“Put your wishes out there with positive intentions! Share them with someone or write them down.
How often do we make wishes with a defeatist attitude-keeping them as just far away dreams that will never come true? Do you really want to live your life never taking any chances to heighten your level of success?
And I am not just writing about career or money. Wishes can be about anything…healthier relationships, reconnecting with someone, taking that trip you’ve thought about but never planned for, or starting that meditation routine you know will help with anxiety.
Make a wish. Then evolve it into something outside your head and within your grasp. You can do it!”
Sign-up for weekly Stress Busters and Inspiration (no inbox flooding)
“A Jack of all Trades. Master of none”
“Half good at a Whole lot”
I was in a coaching session with a client* the other day going through an exercise that had her addressing two sides of herself. She was asked to give each side a name. After some thought she answered with “The Ultimate” for her driven side, and dubbed her unfocused fear of being successful side as “Half-Assing.”
(“French” words are not only accepted in sessions but embraced with a smile!)
I have the fortune of also being friends with this client and later that week over dinner we started to talk about that term “Half-Assing.” Does it mean you’re lazy? Does it mean you normally only give around 50% with each
experience you take on? Are you someone that is just so busy with this and that that you never have the time to actually finish…this and that?
Sometimes it can mean those things.
However, upon further discussion we came up with some insights, and this is what we found to be some of the common traits
Of the Whole Half-Assing side…
~It comes up with great ideas. All the time. You might not execute them or the excitement can fizzle so you move on or pass the idea on, but you generally more often than not have something brewing.
~It gives 100% to something until you get bored or something else distracts you.
~It could be on to something good and get scared. Scared you might screw it up, the “what ifs” start to creep in, or like my client, you might become scared of what happens if you were to actually succeed with this something good.
~You start to create excuses (or in my case “reasons”) as to why you can abandon ship with the things that are good for you because of the responsibilities and/or changes that are involved after you cross that finish line.
~It gives 100% with the true intention to see things through, but it is with something that is not good for you. It might be trying to please someone else (as I did with my ever so short stint selling Mary Kay products), or might be trying to manifest a characteristic about yourself you simply do not possess.
Any of these snippets look familiar? They sure do to me!
True to Callavida form there are some positives to consider.
Sometimes it’s not the worst thing in the world to be Half-Assing. It can bring your other side that gets things done new ideas, creativity, and flexibility. It might take risks you never would should you not have that initial burst of energy or excitement towards a new venture. Furthermore, having lots of ideas, dreams, goals, motivations, and interests is one of the wonderful things about being human. We are in constant movement, forward hopefully, and most of us really want WAY more than we ever share with each other.
The whole thing about being constantly Half-Assing is that it can become detrimental when you find yourself getting uncomfortable, and pulling the plug when you start to see that finish line in the distance.
My friends, they don’t call ’em growing pains for nothing!
So if you are a “Jack of Trades,” or self-proclaimed “Renaissance Woman” don’t fight your natural curiosities with all this world has to offer. Just keep in mind that if you start to get distracted, fearful, or uncomfortable it could be because you are doing something good for you! Keep going and whole ass it!
*Client gave the okay to share this! Ironically we managed to finish this conversation with certain closure and out of it came this whole blog post. =)
Welcome back everyone! As you can see I am in the process of making some big changes on Callavida, and in my own life.
With that said I thought I’d share what it has been like being unemployed for the first time in almost 20 years. I have held down some kind of job since I was 15 years-old and particularly the one I just left I had for ten years. To honor my younger hopeful self I cut the list down to 15 somethings.
Thanks for stopping by!
15 Somethings of Being Unemployed
1. People need answers even if you don’t have them. “Well what EXACTLY are you going to do?” Not sure but I know I am going to look for work. “WHERE??” Out if the Bay Area. “WHY??” and the questions continue…
2. It felt weird at first. Still connected to the old job, but cognitive of the fact I was not returning.
3. My last day was on a Friday. So waking up with nothing to do that first Monday felt…well it felt like this:
4. There are no more weekends. Every day is Friday and you start to forget when exactly the real Friday is…
5. I feel guilty going out-even though I have money saved to get by for a bit every time I go out I realize that money is not being replenished.
6. Because of number #1 I sometimes lie about my plans so the incessant questions will cease. It works.
7. After about a week of no work I started to feel super weird. That weirdness turned into panic. Aaaand this is the week I applied for 100 jobs most of which I wouldn’t have applied for had I been in a more sound state of mind. But you settle in a state of panic.
8. There are bursts of excitement-emotional outbursts of joy thinking about the possibilities. The world is my oyster!
9. There are also bursts of …
10. You make big plans to exercise daily and read that book that’s been a part of your bed set for the last 3 months. You are going to hit the beach. Visit a friend who lives far away (but not so far you have to buy a plane ticket).
11. In reality those big plans happen tomorrow. Because until I land a job there’s always tomorrow!
12. I am sad at times and have to just let it sit with me. This one is kind of a head scratcher but I am a big believer in allowing things to sit without question when you don’t have the answer immediately.
13. I eat weird things at weird hours. For example nutella and a Hawaiian king roll at 10:30pm. For dinner.
14. I actually can be very busy most days because I am ambitious and make lists. Furthermore, these days filling out a job application online is pretty much the first interview, and takes…a very, very long time…
15. No matter what somethings come in and out of my daily unemployed life I am generally certain I will be just fine.
P.s. Just realized you can do the math on my age…knock yourself out! =)
My career calling has changed.
It is time to move forward, but what does that mean for me?
I am 34 years old. The thought of switching careers initially bothered me because I judged myself for not being in the midst of a demanding career that required my wearing heels or included a hefty 401k. I work with special education students as an aide, and the main reason one would see me dressed up at work is because it was laundry day.
However, digging deeper I realized the major issue was I had worked with children and families for so long I had programmed my brain to believe it was the only work I was capable of executing with a natural skill. Yet it has kept me too comfortable, financially challenged, and in a spot where I can no longer move up the job ladder. However, appreciating the fact that I truly enjoy it, and seeing how I make a difference every day it has also kept me for the last 17 years engrossed in a generally rewarding position.
Then like a whirlwind wake-up call from the universe, opportunity in the form of stress brought me to new considerations and realized gifts.
I first began to realize my calling had changed when I had to change. I needed to change my life because up that point life had been changing me. I felt like I was losing control of my happiness, and it was starting to suck. Then I realized that was because I had lost touch with the fact that I could take control of my own happiness. So I did. I changed my attitude with more meaningful meditations, set new boundaries in relationships that no longer brought as much joy as it did questions or negative thinking, surrounded myself with positive quotes, pictures, and fulfilling activities to really move my thinking train onto a better track. I pulled out every self-care tool I could think of and utilized my support system in a way that helped deepen my relationships with the loved ones who stood by me.
Then I helped other people in the same way, along the way. I started this blog, a women’s group on Facebook, and reached out to others with a new Twitter account aimed to give daily positive encouragement.
Okay, this all sounds great Mag, but I thought we were reading about your calling?
You just did.
I am in the process of becoming a life coach for women specializing in stress and anxiety management. I will be leaving a field that has defined me for almost twenty years, and following a calling that has unexpectedly, but powerfully, redefined me for less than one.
Have you been here? You’re doing what you’re doing, and you’re doing it
well, but…there’s something else in the distance that you start to see. You are not quite sure what you’re perceiving yet, but the closer you get the more certainly you walk towards it. Sometimes the picture pops right up so vividly and suddenly like mine did. You might shuffle your feet in caution as you realize what you see ahead makes what’s behind you blurrier. Other times, the picture becomes more defined as you purposefully clear your path towards it.
Be open to continuous discoveries. Your life around you changes throughout the years why not take a chance should your calling change over the years too? The beauty of continuous discovery is when you embrace it there is a part of you that becomes your anchor. The inner confidence that keeps you grounded as you walk towards expanded opportunities will always be with you.
I have to admit-I live in my head a lot.
I imagine about what the future will be like. I imagine myself as a mother, and what my kids might look like. I imagine what I would look like if I lost a certain amount of pounds, I imagine myself self-employed and popular. You know, like kinda famous.
My thought train stops at imagination station on a daily basis; multiple times a day.
One area of imagination station I’ve been thinking about lately is my idea section. It is the place I go to when I get a new one or want to toy with the ones already there. I sit with them, and ponder needing a sign, or a perfect time to allow myself to follow through with them.
In other words, it’s the waiting area.
This area can become a bit crowded. It can lie stagnant. Sometimes my ideas just walk away because I haven’t nourished them enough and they are hungry for attention. Or they get super fat and cannot be moved because all I have done is feed them in my mind.They need to be cared for appropriately in order to be ready for action.
Picture this area for yourself-can you see all your ideas sitting there on the benches waiting for you? Is your thought train passing by every single day never picking any of them up?
I have decided it is time for me to stop at imagination station, pick up some passengers, and bring them on my train of action.
Create the perfect time, be your own sign, or make one! Remember the ideas at imagination station will not seem so big and scary once they come with you. They are waiting for their ticket to ride! What slows down the amount of your ideas becoming passengers is all the questions that come with it. That fear and doubt needs to be run over by your powerful train. Go for it, because even if it is just introducing your passengers to someone else, it is a start.
So now I am losing some more weight. Now I am working on being the very best version of me because in a few years I will be ready to make the mother dream my reality. Now I am working on my career so I can become self-employed and now I am doing all I can to connect with others through my passions so I can change the world around me wherever I go.
My idea area at imagination station is still busy, but now, so is my train.