Adulting: Holding on to Your POP

 Who you are and where you are are two different things.

What we believe about ourselves, and the core of who we are does not change just because our surroundings and life might. How comforting is that?

For me, it is very comforting.

The times I choose to remember that.

You see, it can become a mental habit to equate ourselves to where we are externally in life. If we have a job we don’t love or make less than we desire it is easy to think we might not be worth finding something better. If you are in your 30s+ and single, there are people who will always be confused as shit by this, or if you are in a relationship but choose not to get married there are people who will always be uncomfortable as shit by this. Married? Where is the kid? Kid? You just want one?

No way.

Here comes that shit again.

Amigos,

Embrace everything YOUR soul desires. It is not anyone else’s to do so!

And just as you are-you are simply you, and you are just fine.

The major parts of your heart, character, and natural gifts cannot be shaken when life moves you. In any direction, good or not so good. Even finding that exciting job that makes you happy to get up in the morning, and the compensation to match, or finding that person who gives you all the butterflies will not change that.

It adds to the you you already are, but it does not change it.

Finding your POP, your point of peace, is all about grounding into this part of yourself that cannot be shaken when life moves you.

Because here is what happens when you do not learn ways to come back to yourself.

You will generally witness yourself in the midst of two moods:

In an extremely positive mood, or in an extremely negative one.

This is not a healthy way to live, but many of us do it because we have not learned to gently hold and care for our core. We give it to our circumstances, mostly being other people, and allow it to be shaped.

So how do we exercise this form of self-preservation?

Well,

IT TAKES WORK.

You need to continuously work on accessing your POP!

Here are a few ways to get started:worth

1) Know Thyself-if you are aware of your strengths and weaknesses you can share your strengths with others while working on your challenges.

2) Compete with yourself-stop comparing yourself to other people in your life and set goals that reflect where you are and where you want to be. You are your own worst critic right? So why not be your own best cheerleader too?

3) Accept your feelings-what? I always accept my feelings! You might, but guess what else you do? You run with them, parade them around and magnify them!  Stop taking one moment of frustration and turning it into a “bad day.” Accepting how you feel is actually a great first step to letting go of feelings and thoughts that are no longer serving you.

If you hold on to the core of who you are, and care for it, everything that stems from it will be authentic, organic, strong as hell, and true.

No matter where you are.

Maggie xo

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The Point of Peace

Dear You,

Sensitive Soul

Anxious Mind

Frustrated See-er

Global Feeler

Lover

Fighter

Thinker 

Healer

I know lately you might be looking around at what is going in our world and feel a number of things…and I understand. I feel it too. I am not all of these things all of the time, but I am all of these at different points in time.

It is so important to try to hone in the weight of super heavy emotions, and do what needs to be done to lift them off. With everything that we are it can feel so tough, but we are not the ones experiencing the toughest. There are people suffering in real time, right now, and for those of us who feel it yes, it is a legitimate feeling. But if you are reading this, you are also mostly safe right now. The tears are being shed in the safety of our homes, apartment, office, and cars.
Go ahead and feel it, but please don’t forget this:
1) You have the power to take action with the things you feel are wrong with this world. You have a voice, you have social media, maybe a little extra income, or some extra time.
2) Your getting back to that calmer place inside of you, your point of peace, WILL make a difference in the world.

How?

As you step outside into daily life, going to the office, getting groceries, or taking your kids to the park…your peace could very well become the one refreshing, or comforting thing to someone you cross paths with. Think about how caring for yourself has a ripple effect on the every day interactions you have with other people who could very well be challenged just the way you have been.

This is how you make a difference.

Maggie xo

Self-Care through Nature: An Elemental 2017

Happy New Year to everyone…happy looking forward, moving further forward, and being more forward in 2017. I won’t take any time to reflect on 2016, because here we are, right now, right in the middle of January, and this is where we will stay as you read! Thanks by the way, for reading. You are awesome. You could actually be amazing if you sign up to follow my blog. Go up. And right. There ya go.

I would like to share my experience connecting with nature on a daily basis and how it has helped me make wiser decisions in my life. Simple answer-nature makes me pause.

When I pause I take a mindful moment, and when I take a mindful moment I listen. I listen to my gut. For some their “gut” might be simple logic, others perhaps a god, or for some like myself, may find their gut to be a combination of inner knowing, and gentle outer guidance from various divine sources.

Here is my version of connecting the elements of nature with our senses, and how this combined with a little self-care can be applied into our every day lives.

Earth=See=Pull up pictures of family or friends. Take a moment to reflect on good memories and looking forward to the next time you will see them. Find a piece of jewelry, an valued object or go outside and pick a flower you like. Look at it and see what about it is enjoyable from your own personal view.

Air=Hear=Make a music playlist labeled “now.” Play it when you feel stressed or you need to take time out. Pick songs that make you happy. Go outside for a sec. Listen to the wind. Listen to the neighbor’s kids playing. Or even the sound of the brakes on the bus.

Fire=Smell=Sweetgrass is my favorite smell in the whole entire world. It is invigorating and brings back memories of rolling on lush hills at the park with my father. Find a smell that makes you feel invigorated, or/and brings back a fond memory. Have it handy in your home or even in a purse, or a work bag. Give it a whiff as needed, or desired.

Water=Taste=Buy a water drinking device that you are excited about. I am not kidding. Whether it’s a silly mug at home, a large cup, or one of those fancy BPA free non-GMO gluten-free bottles find one you think is awesome. How do you like your water? Figure it out. I personally love mine with lots of ice first thing in the morning. Drink more water. Drink more water.

Lastly,

Feel=to be all four: You are a part of this Earth, parts of you are made from it. How will you take care of yourself knowing that this will reflect on our planet? You are Air with every breath you take and every word that comes out of your mouth. How will you enrich your experiences with the air of your words? You are Fire every time you feel complete love, passion, or even upset with something. How will you use that fire to create change in your life, and the lives of others? You are Water when you go with the flow and find peace with the waves of change. How will you nourish yourself enough to hold on to that center that is the catalyst for maintaining a healthy flow, and peaceful feeling?

It is my strong belief that nature is a simple, and hola…generally FREE way to have a healthy mind and heart. We go out to work every day and don’t listen to the birds, but we for damn sure hear them chirping when it’s 6:30am on a Saturday and we want to sleep in, right? Try listening when you leave for work. Take…one, two, three seconds. Count to 3 and listen. See how you feel when you go from there.

Go ahead and try some of these things sometime. Any time.

beachplease

Maggie xo

P.s. Thanks Mother E for your collaboration!

Thank You for Your Goodbye

Bear with me on this post…I am feeling a bit salty as I start this.

Thursday marked the closing of a thread of toxic relationships in my life.

At first I was upset-this last friend was someone I had known for a long time, and I expected more from her because of that. I expected to be treated with the consideration that for the first time in our friendship I spoke up for myself. I was kind yet honest, and I was…you know…considerate. But no. Apparently I struck a major cord by communicating that I needed some space so she decided to put permanent space between us.

The Facebook unfriending! When-someone-unfriends-me

When I realized this was the manner of which I was getting the boot I had to chuckle. I guess in this sense, my expectations were met.

But as many of us learn the hard way…it is in general, really not healthy to hold expectations with others. Especially the ones you have seen repeat the same negative patterns in other relationships.

Why would I be any different?

I’m not.

And that is totally okay.

I don’t believe every single thing happens for a reason, but I do believe that the last few people who have exited my life in ways that do not honor all the years we’ve shared with each other is a sign I am experiencing the clearing of emotional clutter. Because clearing means creating space for greater things to come.

I would like to thank these last few people who I have parted ways with.

For your time in the past, however we left things it healthily clears my present, but I do honestly wish you well with your future, and release you with love.

I am going to keep it moving looking forward, and up.

20140908_205413

Maggie xo

Begin Within

It’s weird these days.

I have never been so in tune with the world around me, and the people not only in my life, but people I meet on the fly. I strive to make connections every where I go, and to spread a little bit of love. I look at things from a place inside of me that wants to become kinder and more compassionate with each day that goes by.

However, I also experience a world that shuts itself off. People tucking away emotions, experiences, and not really dealing with them.

“It is what it is,” or “I don’t have time for this.” Yet I see those same people giving energy to negative situations, experiences, and issues that clearly stem from not facing the thing we all need to do at some point, and continue to do periodically…

Heal ourselves.

What is self-healing?

It can mean different things to different people, but when I entered it into our favorite information mecca *Google* this is what came up “the process of recovery (generally from psychological disturbances, trauma, etc.), motivated by and directed by the patient, guided often only by instinct. Such a process encounters mixed fortunes due to its amateur nature, although self-motivation is a major asset.”

The great thing about self-healing is it can be addressed on various scales. It does NOT have to be scheduled therapy sessions for a year, or it can.

Once you check in to what would be best for YOU-you take it from there.

In the mean time, I’d like to offer a few simple ways you can begin your path to self-healing. The following suggestions come from my own personal experiences with each one, but I highly recommend if you feel you need to take it to another level to seek professional help, spiritual guidance, or a combo of both.

I have experienced counseling, coaching, and a spiritually-based program for self-healing.

I can promise finding what you need…will get you where you want to be.

3 Ways to Begin…

1. Meditate. Get on YouTube and sit with a guided healing meditation. They can be anywhere from 10 minutes to over an hour! In fact here’s a link to get you started: Positive Magazine

2. Write. Get on your computer or use a good old-fashion pencil and paper. Write whatever comes to mind about how you currently feel and whatever follows. You will be surprised at what gets released within this safe space between your mind and fingers.

3. Walk. Walk? What? Yea. Take a walk. Listen to some relaxing music and think about how you feel. If anything comes up text yourself (you know you’ll have your phone!) when you return from your walk, or pause periodically during your walk to enter in your phone what comes up. Keep documenting your walks and see what changes over time.

It is my sincerest hope that this post helps someone out there. If you connect with this in any way or would like to add to the suggestions please comment!

And please take care.

It starts, and ends, with me.
It starts, and ends…with me. 

Ready to Begin?

Maggie xo

Eek!

Well well well…
I am sitting in the mall typing this out as it seems this lovely site did not save the final product of my blog!
So the email you received was my first baby draft. Now you caught a glimpse of my process…I end then start!
This is one of those times I don’t feel as much blessed as stressed, but it will pass…
Retail therapy!

Maggie xo

image

BeYouty

.What makes you beautiful?

The BE YOU part!

So be you!

The real you.

The you that is still. The you that does not feel forced, doubtful, or anxious.

The BE-YOU-tiful part of you is easy, light, certain, and free.

Some parts of you you want to work on?

Go ahead.

Because part of being YOU should be growing YOU.

The older I get the more I settle into myself, and put in the effort to develop the me I want to be. The me I know will connect with the world in a more honest way if I connect with myself in a healthier way.

It also takes much less effort to be yourself in the long run. Now when people ask me how I am I tell them. I used to cringe inside while saying “fi-yeene” in a high-pitched voice, and sometimes I still do, but mostly, if you ask how I am…you’ll get that earful the real me wants to share with you.

So go ahead and be you.

Because this is where the true Be-You-ty lies!

i-am-fabulous-funny-quotes

 http://www.callavida.org/

Maggie xo

Take 5

blog

This is one of those posts that  gives you AWESOME advice.

I know because I have taken this advice and put it into action most days (not too hard to do so I can’t complain). However, the advice and ideas shared are really geared towards the mothers, the career women, and the women who wear many (many) hats. If you’re a busy woman, Take 5, and keep reading…

Taking 5 or more minutes a day to be with yourself is an essential tool to maintaining a healthy state of mind. Not just when you are stressed, annoyed with the family, or busy at work. It is important to Take 5 when the day runs smoothly, when you’re busy but handling things okay, and when you DO have some down time. Sometimes when we have  a moment to spare we fill it up with something else to do. Which is fine sometimes, but other  times…you need to Take that 5.

To dig a bit deeper-sometimes it’s good to put down the phone and take a break doing something else. Whaaaa?? I know-it’s hard because we play candy crush for 10 minutes or check Instagram as a way to check out. Again, not too shabby of a break, but expanding our ideas beyond the normal things we grab to zone out is healthy for us. So below are a few ideas from yours truly; followed by responses from a few more women walking in your shoes.

Take 5

~Look up an article on something you are interested in or about something you have wanted to try i.e. a new yoga class.

~Stretch. Sit down and set the timer for 5 minutes of stretching. Guess what? If you do this often you’ll become more flexible AND learn how to be more present!

~Make a healthy snack plate. Often we just mindlessly grab from the pantry or fridge without taking a minute to put something together that would be truly satiating. I enjoy a good snack plate with crackers, cheese, and fruit.

From women via Facebook and Twitter

“I use essential oils! There are quite a few proven to help mood, so sometimes if I find myself getting overly frustrated or depressed or anxious, I march into my bathroom and get a drop of one of the oils…It takes less than a minute but helps immensely!” ~Cassandra

“Watch a YouTube video of one of my fav songs.” ~Chari

“Eat something I don’t treat myself too much. I just sit and savor the sweet!” ~Mal

“I do a Zumba dance from youtube.com.” ~Marissa

“I check Facebook. Mindlessly look at other people’s lives then face my own again.” ~Krista

“Or take a shot. Just……kidding?”Pouring Tequila Shot preview image

                                                    CHEERS!

 

“Once in a while you have to take a break and visit yourself.”~Audrey Giorgi

Maggie xo

Choices

Who you are matters.

What you do matters.

How you treat yourself matters.

How you treat others matters.

The decisions you make matter.

Like it or not, many of the decisions you make matter to others as well.

The choices you make are connected to something outside yourself. Even if it’s as small as grabbing a pair of socks at Target, taking a five-minute break at work, or sending your friend a quick text to confirm plans.

Friends,

If you ever think what you do and how you treat yourself does not really matter, or

Makes a difference…

It can not only make you apathetic, it can make youhurt-thomas-cooksey-00

Idle.

“I’m just one person. I don’t make a difference…”

:Sigh:

That’s not your sigh…it’s mine.

Guess what?

Lack of trying or caring

Can, and will…still

Matter, and make a difference.

To someone, or something.

makes-difference

Maggie xo

What’s Love Got to do With It

“If he really loved me he would have stayed.”

“If she really loved me she would change.”broken-heart

“He said he loved me why did he hurt me?”

“She said she would always have my back why did she end up stabbing it?”

Ever asked yourself any of these questions? Some of them? All of them? I think at some point we all have been in a place of confusion and/or hurt due to this thing called love.

With certain people in our lives the love comes with expectations, and guarantees. Isn’t it funny how we tend to cut our friends and family a little more slack with the expectations and guarantees?

The guarantee they will never leave. The guarantee they will never truly hurt our feelings. The expectation they will always remain faithful. The guarantee that no matter what they will stick around to work things out. The expectation that they will never tragically let us down.

Most of the time, love has nothing to do with these unfortunate experiences.

It really can not be, about you.

The thing is,

It is not usually the love that betrays you-it is the person or belief in a guarantee made by them, or one you made up in your mind.

The only thing that love guarantees is…an experience.

With that said my point is, love. Always love. Live love, be love, and be brave in love. Because those times you feel like love let you down are the very times I write of. Remember, it is not usually the love that lets you down, and you miss out on so much when you hold on to things that have nothing to do with the purest form of the way you love others.

So what’s love got to do with it?

Sometimes everything, and other times…nothing at all.

Maggie xo